Daily Digressions

(Latest entry at the top. Scroll down to read past entries.)

losers have read this crap since I put this counter here.  Well, except for the hits for when I save it to file and for the times when I narcissistically come here to read my "published" writing.  And I'm guessing the other hits are from my mom. 

6/25/05 Digressions is back online. Life is good. I’ll try to write more later. www.copperrockcoffee.com finally got updated. That’s it.

3/01/05  It's March already.  Last time I talked to you about not wanting to share things about my life when the possibility exists that somebody who doesn't quite know me but is beginning to might read it and then get a somewhat distorted impression of me.  I shall once again second that thought.  Wahle, Sharper...Favre is still up in the air...my life is getting complicated once again.  I tend to use the same phrases over and over.  Tomorrow is Wednesday and I have church and my kids sing and I don't know what I'm doing after that yet and then I have teachers conference on Thursday and Friday and I think I'm going to the Admirals game on Friday night but one should never count his pucks before they hit the ice.  On Saturday I might be going home to Appleton to see people.  Buck wants me to go because he can't drive all by himself.  I have a shovel.  I made food the other night.  I am having spaghetti tonight.  I should take my DVD player home.  Yes, I will.  Who is Mike Smith?  And I now have toilet paper and my house is somewhat clean for once...I hope things stay that way.  The cleanliness of my house serves as a social barometer.

2/23/05

I broke my shovel the other day; the snow was really heavy and I was shoveling the end of my plowed-in driveway and the stupid thing broke as I tried to lift a heavy load.  So I finished the rest of it with the very end of the shovel, as if it were a child’s shovel.  The Admirals lost last night, but it was a good time anyway.  It’s difficult having a digression page that others can read and that others can post on when you realize that people who don’t know you too well and who may beginning to get to know you and whose opinion I might care about might be able to stumble across it.  Did that make sense?  I need to clean my house and I think I’m going to get a haircut.  It’s an odd feeling:  this caring about cleanliness and grooming.  Buck got some new pills.  The other day I was on the phone and I was going to get Buck in and I looked out and he wasn’t there.  I began to freak out and went down to the end of the driveway, the sight of cars zooming past on Hampton Ave. made me sick.  So I went back inside to grab my jacket and, looking to my left as I came in the side door, there was Buck inside his kennel, drying off from the wet snow; I had forgotten that I had gotten him in.  Was that crappy grammar?  Me don’t care none.  I think I’m going to see The Aviator on Friday at the Rosebud.  I like that place.  And I like that movie.  This week is flying by for me already.  Tonight is church and I have to leave pretty early; I have a full car and they all want to get there for Bible class, which is viewing the 2nd part of the Passion of the Christ, and so I have to leave around 6 in order to pick them all up on time.  Then of course I have to drop them all off afterwards.  At least they’re coming to church…pretty small price to pay methinks.  Then I have typical schoolwork to do and perhaps after school I shall get a haircut and do some shopping for things I need such as toilet paper.  See, it’s details like that that I am not reluctant to share with my fans since I realize that somebody else might be reading this.  Fans.  Ha.  I should get some new pants; I need to return a pair to Kohl’s and I was thinking about getting another pair of jeans; right now I have only one in commission.  My other two pairs have finally been diagnosed with death.  Pairs or pair, I don’t know.  I need to start running again; Buck’s nails are too long.  Quote/Paraphrase-of-the-day:  “If you don’t put this student on medication, you better put me on some.”

2/1/05  I don't get off school for Groundhog Day.  

1/10/05 I have not digressed since last year. Whoha! I got Brett “The Commish” on DVD; I do believe that that was the best present that anyone has ever given to anyone else. And I did it surreptitiously. My life is pretty much worthless. When I try it doesn’t seem to matter. And, perhaps more disheartening, when I don’t try it doesn’t seem to matter. We won our basketball game. I want to die along with the Packers. Randy Moss is a horrible human being. Out of sheer curiosity, I Boolean-Googled “I want Randy Moss to die” and I got no results; I was seriously shocked. I just realized that I don’t think the use of quotes constitutes a Boolean search; nonetheless, it was a pretty cool new term I made up. Buck seems to enjoy life more than I do. I’m trying to become an alcoholic, but sometimes days go by without a drink and then I get frustrated at myself. I’m back up to 11 students. This year it’s gone from 15 to 14 to 13 to 12 to 10 to 11; Roger said that we should have installed revolving doors when they refurbished the building. Roger’s pretty clever for being from MLS. (inside joke/serious insult) Beer is the elixir of life (and death). I like parenthetical comments (don’t you too?). Next week is only 3 days (yea for racial injustices!). That was inappropriate. Sorry. Some people ask me if my call was a cultural shock as if I had never seen a black person before. I usually respond, “Yes. Yes, it was. Before I only hated white people; now I hate people off all races.” And then I kick them in the stomach. What’s with all this violence? Tsunami. Wow. Where do I begin with all that?

12/19/04 My life is worthless.  How's everyone else doing?

12/17/04 They’re dropping like flies. Possibly four more today. Apparently teaching and applying the Law and Gospel faithfully is not good for enrollment. Bullshirt.8m.com is down; I can only assume that Dan Hartwig has died. It was nice knowing you, buddy. I suppose the other explanation could be that he forgot to renew his Freeservers domain name. Tonight we play Garden Homes; it should be a good game. Brett is coming down for it…that and Chinese buffet. My fingers are numb; I’m trying to save money on heat. I got some meat from Ed for Christmas. I like meat. I ordered some checks.

12/13/04 (oops...I forgot to put the date here and now I realized that this isn't two days in a row...I'm an idiot.) I’m digressing once again; I believe this is the second day in a row. Wow. My hands are numb because I just got home from school; I walked this time. Our enrollment is going down by one again I think. Well, according to mom she doesn’t like our school and she’s sick of getting phone calls all the time and if she can get her son in a different school he won’t be back at all. Apparently Mr. Hahnke didn’t send home the lesson on burning bridges…or maybe he did. This time the child, among many other things, only grabbed a sheet out of my hand and crumpled it up and threw it down and refused to admit any wrong and demanded to call his mom (read “sanctuary”). Oh well. She apparently thinks his problems will magically disappear at another school. Law and Gospel were taught and preached faithfully in this situation; my hands are clean…at least that’s what I keep trying to convince myself of these days. I should really eat something. I’m trying to get off of caffeine. Cold Turkey. I wonder where that expression came from. I am going to die a lonely, bitter, old man. Bye.

12/11/04 I finally downloaded an FTP program so that I can update this thing at home. Thanks to Mike Wendt, I think I got the right server information and all that fun jazz. On Thursday our enrollment went down by 5; on Friday it went up by one. On Thursday I had to physically remove a rather big male student from a classroom as he was about to punch a girl. On Thursday the mother of the boy who was suspended for almost punching a girl pulled both of her children out of our school because she was “frustrated at all the discipline problems.” On Thursday we found out that this would be the 13th school change for these two children. On Friday the girl returned to school after crying the previous night to her mom telling her she wanted to stay. We still don’t know about the boy who was suspended. On Thursday morning before all this we had 2 kindergarteners and one 5th grader pulled from our school because one of the kindergarteners needed speech therapy at a public school and it would be too inconvenient for the mom to make two trips. How much notice did we receive? 10 minutes. On Friday I found out that a mother of some of our students sells adult toys for a living. So, in other words, it’s been a pretty normal life for me since I last digressed. I’m finally cleaning my room. I should really keep in touch with my brothers better than I am…except for Brett; I talk to him too much; perhaps I’m trying to live vicariously through him; perhaps I need to stop combing my hair and gain some weight; perhaps I need to learn Greek and Hebrew and find a girl from Tennessee. Christmas is fast approaching. I have a faculty Christmas party the day after our last day of school; I don’t want to go because I’d be the 13th wheel and because I don’t want to bring food and/or drinks, nor do I want to bring “elephant gifts,” whatever that means. Stupid pachyderms. Fragment. I hope this FTP thing works. My poetic thought of yesterday: sometimes you need a little intoxication to find some sobriety. Or: I want to be drunk with sobriety. Or: I want to be sober in my drunkenness. Or: ah, never mind. I’m going to go now.

10/17/04 Birthday Boy Paul pointed out to me that it's nearly been a month and a half since I last digressed.  I actually digress daily, just not always in written word.  The Saints are down 7-14 to the Vikings right now; I'm really hoping the Vikes can blow it enough so the Packers pick up a game on everybody this week.  The Musical Box is open this week.  Three times I shall taste aural bliss.  I think that was a mixed metaphor.  It smelled like one anyway.  I hope Moss is hurt permanently.  I mean that figuratively, of course.  I need to finish Science grades and then I'll put off Math grades till tomorrow night.  Brett has a woman.  Paul has a woman.  Dave is married.  Seth is married.  Even Kevin is married.  Not sure about Josh, but Scott also is married and pregnant.  I think that leaves Eric, Ben, and myself.  The race is on, boys.  I'm thinking about getting another dog.  The Saints seem to have no nose tackle.  At least they have a CB now.  I've loved Rottweilers for a long time now and have begun research into the breed/breeders.  Obviously pedigree is a of more importance than say with a Siberian Husky.  I'd really have to plan ahead if I do decide to get one this spring.  It would be the best time for me since school is winding down; no sports are being played, besides softball, and then I'd have the summer for the most crucial training.  Also, I think it would be great for Buck as he gets older.  I'm a little concerned with some of the breed-specific health issues, but overall I'm pretty much decided on a Rottweiler.  Now the name...that's the biggest question.  Here's my list right now:  Dollar, Buck II, Rael, Dog, Dawg, Bitch, Beyotch, Henry VIII, Nero, By-Tor (Buck is the Snow Dog), Mossux, Craphead (or some other variant from the Jerk)  Bye.

9/06/04  I'm at school now; I've been here a lot this Labor Day weekend.  Work without results is the most frustrating type of work there is.  Yet working some work without results makes one realize that the work having been worked was really meaningless and will cease in working that work and will go on working on something else...I think there's an opera operantis joke in there somewhere, but I don't know where to put it.  I gave up on this stupid Skool-Aid program...so many glitches, so hard to use...and this coming from somebody who knows comp. applications fairly well; I can't imagine how hard it would be for some other people.  I'm going with Gradequick...much easier and much better.  I only wasted 30 hours or so altogether with the other program before deciding to junk it.  It's awful.  I hate it.  The people who put it together meant well and maybe some are having success with it, but I hate it.  Oh well.  First week of school went really well methinks:  my students are really quite well-behaved so far.  The glaring problem is what they do after I stop talking and it's time for them to do their own work.  That and the vast discrepancies in ability levels.  Case in point:  one student will likely be into high school geometry before he graduates; another has the mathematical computational ability of a 2nd grader.  Same class.  The Musical Box is playing for me 3 times in October...20,21,22  The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway.  Talked for awhile with the chairman of our congregation today...turns out he was once (and still is, to some extent) a big Gabriel-era Genesis fan...he actually recognized The Lamb when he walked into my room.  So now I'm going to the Wednesday Lamb show with my principal and the chairman of the congregation!  Who would have thunk it?  Not this guy.  And then Thursday with Kevin.  And then Friday with Brett.  And before that on the 2nd, I go to Marillion...with Brett.  4 shows in a month.  Who needs a girlfriend when you've got progressive rock?  Okay, put your hand down, Paul and Ben and Brett and...well, I guess that's about it.  I made a top ten list for the Wildcat Weekly.  What is that?  Well, it's Mt. Lebanon Lutheran School's weekly newsletter.  Who's in charge of it?  That's right!  Your very own Mt. Lebanon Assistant Principal!  I know what you're wondering:  does Mark get an assistant stipend?  The answer is no, but I do get to have all the overtime I want...tax-free!  (Tom joke)  I'm going to go now and torture myself by reading some Science essays.

8/21/04  Not much going on...I'm cooking some fish sticks right now and I am having one of Seth's beers and am going to watch Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore from the new Scorsese set.  I have 2 or 3 home visits tomorrow after church and after going to Graps to get cheap used clothing.  I have a lot to do before school starts.  I have to get to New Ulm one of these days, too...I don't mind doing that; I've got tunes and I should get reimbursed for mileage and all that.  Time to go check fish sticks.  Bye.

8/19/04 Here's something I happened to think of tonight... (click here)  It's in PDF format.  It's something that I worked on a long time ago and was going to use as an entire page piece of filler in The Cabbage, but my sense of decency got the worse of me...not now, though.  Enjoy. 

8/18/04  Done with softball.  I'm going to finish a David Sylvian compilation I've been working on...and try out my new printer.  I saw Collateral with pretty boy Tom Cruise...not bad...good...not as good as The Village.  That's all I got for now.

8/12/04  I just got done lifting and wanted to write a bit.  I've been a naughty son and nephew; I haven't called my mom and I heard my aunt broke her ankle.  I almost typed "uncle."  I have my computer at home now.  I figured it wouldn't be a bad idea to have it here so I don't spend so much time at school this year.  I'm not thrilled with doing a bunch of my work here, but I think it will be better than always being over there.  I'm enjoying a glass of Yo-J right now.  That's some nasty stuff.  It's not quite orange juice and it's not quite yogurt, but it's a good source of calcium.  We lost our softball game the other night against Loving Shepherd #2; it actually got them into the post-season tourney so it looked to others that we may have thrown it...well, we did, but it was completely unintentional.  I know I played like crap and so did most of the other guys.  I got to get my butt in gear here before school starts.  Crazy.  Buck is doing okay, but he did pee on the couch last night...he's never done that before and I'm pretty sure it wasn't a seizure.  I think the medication messes with his system; he's eating and drinking a lot more now (not just alcohol) and thusly peeing and pooping a lot more.  I doubt that anyone has ever uttered the phrase "thusly peeing and pooping" before.  How 'bout that Iraqi soccer team?  I can't wait for The Lamb and Marillion. Happy birthday, Ben Wink.  You are once again one year older than me and I hope to see this reflected in your newfound wisdom.  I'm glad to see Paul Mattek wrote a digression.  I'm not feeling very prolific tonight...as a writer, I mean, not in other ways.  My last one was much better.  Over and out.

8/08/04  I just got done lifting and wanted to write a bit.  This week is going to be a busy week with schoolwork and softball.  But, don't worry, I'm putting softball ahead of schoolwork; after all--like I tell my kids--I'm an athlete-student, not a student-athlete.  I had some tasty steak today.  I should really eat more protein if I'm lifting weights so I can become huger than I already am.  I have to give Buck his pill tonight.  I think once school starts I'll give it to him at about 6 and 6.  He seems to be back to his old self, but I have to stress "old" because he's getting slower and slower on his runs with me.  It used to be that I would hold him back, but now he holds me back; I can't even go 2 miles at a decent pace sometimes with him.  It wasn't long ago that I had to go on my bike in order to give him a good workout.  Then we would probably go 4 miles or farther at 12 mph or so.  We could do sprints at over 20.  I think he could still sprint that fast, but he'd be dead afterwards.  Plus I don't have my bike anymore.  I've had enough; I'm going to be taking my computer home this week I think.  I was walking with Buck before and there was an African-American fellow with a Colt 45 and a cigarette in the same hand.  He was going to cross the street to grab something from this woman and she was saying, "Come over and get this!" as I was walking between them and he says, "Hold on a minute, woman!  There's a big dog and a white man right there!"  It was pretty funny; I just laughed and said "he's not that big."  And he said, "Yeah, but you dat white!"  Then we both laughed and he gave me a swig of the 45 and a puff of the cig.  Some of this was true; it's up to you to figure it out.  I have to finish planning a month of classes (that's my goal) and set up my home visits...looks like I'll have 12 students.  I shall go home and make some macaroni and cheese...yes, lots of protein in that.   

8/06/04  I'm all ticked off right now because I wrote a bunch of stuff just now, but then I got distracted trying to fix my pictures page and then stupid Frontpage (I'm at home and have to use it since I don't have an FTP or whatever program on here) froze up and I didn't save my digression and so now my words are lost forever.  And, believe me, they were the best words ever written.  Best words ever.  And now you can never read them.  I will give you the short version:  I wrote of Buck and his seizures and how they aren't cool, but now he's on Phenobarbital, an anticonvulsant medication.  And I said that you, the reader, ought to see The Village by that M. Night dude.  Good movie, methinks.  I was messing with the pictures because I was thinking of posting some of Kevin's wedding reception photos on there, but, as you may have noticed, I totally messed up the pictures already on there by shrinking the size in HTML, but not actually changing the size of the file, so you get a bunch of ultra-high resolution thumbnails that take forever to load and thus completely and utterly defeat the very purpose of the thumbnail.  Idiot.  Someday when I feel it worthwhile I will take all those pictures off of there and just start over by using Photoshop and making one set of thumbnails and one set of the actual photos that the photo hyperlinks will take you to if you care to see my dog and family closer to life-size.  Idiot.  I'm typing on Frontpage right now and I realize that Frontpage spell-check does not recognize the word "Frontpage."  Ironic, eh?  Or perhaps it's some sort of software self-modesty.  Tomorrow Buck and I shall head back to Milwaukee and finish cleaning my house and organizing my DVDs and CDs on my new shelving arrangement.  And then maybe I'll get Seth to help me put my washer and dryer together; they're stackable ones and there's some sort of mounting bracket that I would just as soon let somebody who's not a complete idiot help me with it.  No, I'll still ask Seth.  Whoha!  Paul Mattek found a place to live in the Cities...good for him...he's a good friend.  My friend Eric was in town (he's heading back Monday) for a few weeks.  It was nice to spend some time with him.  He works in Japan as some sort of English conversationalist teacher.  The Musical Box is playing in October at the Pabst...presale for Pabst e-members (that's me!) starts Monday and I am going to get some tickets...let me know if you want some.  I'm very excited, although it is somewhat disheartening because in all likelihood it will be the highpoint of my life here on earth.  It's The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway; I mean, what could be better than that?  Well, besides seeing the real thing, nothing.  Nothing.  Nothing.  And I'm not being my usual cynical, pessimistic self; I make such a statement even open to the slight possibility that I find the love of my life and get married and have lots and lots of marital happiness (twice on Sundays) and the smartest children in the world...even if all that would happen, seeing The Lamb will still be the highlight of my life.  Marillion is also playing in October down in Chicago.  I'll be a busy man in October.  I shall go as Rael this Halloween.  You know, I realized that sometime ago I stopped putting min-links back to the top of the page, so if you're reading earlier entries you don't have to scroll way back up to get to the top.  Oh well.  If this has inconvenienced you, you have two offerings from me:  1.  My sincerest apologies.  2.  Are you really that fricking lazy that you can't scroll up through a few lines of text?  Plus, you're a loser for even reading this stupid crap.   Yes, I know, what does that make me?  I'm going to go now.    back to top

7/26/04  Changes, changes, changes.  My apologies to my legions of fans for not updating this page in well over a month.  Two sentence fragments.  Three.  My brother Kevin is married now.  That's a very good thing; the wedding seemed to go pretty well.  Hopefully I didn't make too big of a fool of myself with my best man speech.  I've got to get back in the schoolwork frame of mind pretty quickly.  I'm hoping to set up the computer lab by the end of July and actually get some new machines ordered, while at the same time planning out my classes.  I've got lots and lots of work to do.  It was really nice seeing some old friends at the wedding and at the reception.  And I got to talk to a really cool girl from Winona for awhile.  And then that gift opening...whoa, talk about excitement!  Well, that's all I got for now, since I've got to get to the hardware store and then eat and then go play softball in Waukesha.  Over and out.  My writing surely is rusty right now; that happens when you don't do it much for a long time...just like any other skill humans possess.  I should learn from this bad thing.

6/10/04   Hmm, I guess nothing much has happened in my life since March...oh, well.  Actually, the absence of my digressions gives validity to the thought that the writing of the cynic is much more prolific than one who actually sees some good in his life.  Nevertheless, I shall digress now:  I did see Rush the other night…very good, but too much of the medley crap; if you’re going to play the song, play the song; don’t try to please everybody by playing everything; when you try to please everybody, you piss off Mark.  How’s that for some fancy punceeation?  I’m going to a wedding this weekend.  I have to go to the bank today and probably go get a haircut.  ADMIRALS:  Calder Cup Champions!  I went to the rally last night at the Bradley Center …pretty neat…especially being able to see the cup up close.  Most of the players were around as well, which I think was neat for the kids…children, mind you, not juvenile goats.  Well, I’ve got a bunch of things to do today and then I’m heading up to Appleton to…actually I’m not sure why I’m going up there today already—Becca’s not going to be in Oshkosh till tomorrow—but I guess I made up my mind to go there today so I better stick to the schedule.  Buck had another seizure I’m told.  Ronald Reagan is now the greatest dead president.  That moves Hillary Clinton up to number 6 on the living presidents list.

3/25/04  Now, Lord, let your servant depart in peace, for my eyes have seen the salvation of your people The Musical Box.  Okay, that's going a little too far, but what a night!  It was what the word "surreal" was made for.  My only big complaint is talked about thoroughly below; I posted what I wrote to The Musical Box webgroup and am anxiously waiting to hear what their thoughts are concerning jerk audiences.  I wish that TMB (as the kids call them) would record some live albums and especially DVDs so I could relive the show.  It was incredible!  It felt like a dream much of the time.  Enough about that.  I have one more quarter to get through this school year.  I'm really looking forward to next year...well, not that much...I 'm looking forward to summer a bit more.  I'll be a busy man getting ready for next year; I want to have just about everything ready to go and planned out so that I don't nearly die of burnout like I did just before Christmas this year.  After cutting back considerably on time I'm putting in, I have to fight occasional battles with feelings of guilt and doubt, but my lazy ass is winning the war.  Tomorrow I have only 3 students since my sixth graders are going on a field trip without me.  I'm going to try some new stuff I learned at a workshop today.  If their ADD butts (I shant use "ass" twice in one posting...oops, well, three times then) can do it, anyone can.  What was I saying?  I forgot.  Hey, you're a single male teacher and I've got a single female here.  You two should get together.  What?  So what if you've never met her.  She's really nice.  (interpretation:  she looks like a backup catcher from an Antigo softball team)  Anyone want to buy a coffee shop with me?  I think I might call it a night and go see The Passion again.  I miss writing The Cabbage.  I hope I someday have time to do it again; although I do enjoy reading The Onion, which is something I never did when I wrote The Cabbage for various reasons.  It's frustrating not having a creative outlet.  Did anybody lose a Kohl's gift card?  If not, I'm pretty sure it's mine.  I should get some new shoes.  I just spelled shoes "shews."  Perhaps I'm getting burned out again...or maybe I should lay off the needle drugs for awhile.  We liked your sub better than you, Mr. Ehlke.  He gave us less homework than you do.  Who do you think told him what to give you, you little morons?  Who?  I did.  Really?  Oh.

***post made to The_Musical_Box@yahoogroups.com***

I just wanted to give my two cents in regards to the Milwaukee crowd Wednesday night and hopefully get a thread going on what you guys, especially those who were around at shows 30 years ago, think.

First of all, this was my first TMB show and it was unbelievable. The entire show I had either tears in my eyes or chills running down my spine. Despite Tony Banks having no hair and Mike becoming a south paw, I thought that the band were very authentic in recreating an actual 1973-74 SEBTP show--based on the little footage I have seen and from reading and rereading Gallo's book. The one key ingredient missing in the nearly flawless evening was a 1973-74 Genesis audience. From what I've heard and read, what set apart a Genesis audience was that they sat and listened to the music; they didn't whoop and holler during the quiet passages, and they certainly didn't talk during much of the show like the asshole sitting in the aisle down by stage right. I'm not talking about during Peter's stories because that's to be expected; I'm talking about audience noise during quiet passages of Supper's Ready and other songs. I wasn't expecting to find any "casual" Genesis fans not knowing the history and--dare I say--sacredness of the band and the music. Yet many of those present would have been better fitted for a Matchbox 30 concert. Others farther back on the first level complained afterwards of grown men and women yelling things over to their children during songs--something a bit more disturbing during a show than a little picky anachronism. 

Perhaps I'm anal about live shows, but I was very disappointed by the audience. I'm only 24 and would admit that I may not have the best knowledge of the history of the band, especially since I never experienced it first hand. So I would love to hear what others thinK about TMB audiences: either at Milwaukee or elsewhere. Perhaps it was the Milwaukee beer that's to blame, but I believe that (along with other various chemicals) was around during the early '70s. One thought I had on a possible remedy (if, in fact, I'm on to something here) is that the Prog guy from that radio show (if anyone could email me what station that is, that would be great) could have made a comment on what a unique audience the real thing had and that it would be great to recreate that during quiet passages here tonight; I really think that could have gone a long way.

Mark 

3/10/04  Sorry to disappoint my legions of followers.  Today is March 10^th and in the guest digression page many people have been complaining that I haven’t digressed in awhile.  It has nothing to do with reaching a peaceful pause in my life; rather, I’m like a fiery Great White concert… so many thoughts and complaints are rushing to get out that they have all died a miserable death at the exits.  My thought of the day is this:  It doesn’t take a community to raise a child; it takes a parent.  Needless to say, many of these students today are totally screwed.  That’s all I have to say about that.  Now time for the A portion of our Q&A section of today’s program.  Ben, I park wherever I want to, even if it’s one of those spots reserved for people with really big butts.  (I think I stole that from you, Ben.)  And I drive wherever the ladies want me to.  And I have had cow tongue once…not bad…it tastes like beef-flavored chicken feet.  And M. Wink, that’s a very easy question for me to answer; I’d be surprised if your brother hasn’t already told you that Greg Lake is my favorite because he was in the second greatest band of all time, King Crimson.  Thank you very little.  Back to you Ben Wink, nobody’s ever asked me if I was the dude who wrote the gospel, but I do get stared at whenever I travel to Syrian Antioch.  Man, I hope Paul’s gotten over all that.  All I did was made some joke about him having a gay thorn in his backside and he got all huffy.  One more thing:  Ben you must call me about March 25^th and also to let me know if you want to sub for me the following day…hold your laughter…I’m not skipping due to intoxication; I’m skipping because I have to go to some conference to research new playground equipment…and I shall go hungover to simulate an uncoordinated kindergartener.  Remember that midget that we used to call Frank Chuckles?  That was funny.

1/31/04  Nothing like spending a Saturday night at school.  I think I need to get into a serious rut for the next month or so...long haul ahead with no breaks.  I will never again accept another call below the 7th grade level.  Or course the Lord could shove those words down my throat in the years to come and make me spit them up and eat them again.  Medoubts it, though.  Buck and I were running around in the snow.  We play a game by the big snow piles in the parking lot.  I don't have time to go through all the rules with you now, but I basically try to get him and then he tries to get me.  His big advantage is his speed and quickness; mine is that I have mastered the concept of object permanence.  Tomorrow we call somebody to replace me.  It looks like I'll move up to 7th and 8th; the only scenario where that wouldn't happen is if we can't replace me as 5th and 6th grade teacher.  But we can always get a graduate and with the shortages out there, it would be unlikely that we couldn't get one.  I'm hoping we get a hot, intelligent single female so I can assistantly administrate her to do things.  That sounded worse than I had in mind.  I don't think "assistantly" is a word.  I shall be the Ass. Prince.  Wrong "principal."  Oh well.  I should go home and watch Open Range.  And then get up and be tired and go to church.  Bye now and have a lovely leap year February...an extra day of hell on earth.  

1/29/04  No more of this insightful crap for awhile.  I just woke up about half an hour ago after about a three hour "nap."  Oops.  Now I have to get ready for tomorrow.  I am planning on cleaning my house tomorrow night and possibly hanging out with the Wink man.  My dog is here lying on the floor.  My students and I did not get along well today; they were under the impression that it was Thursday and I kept thinking it was Monday because I had been gone the last couple of days for a funeral.  I remember saying that it's more work to prepare for a sub than actually doing the teaching yourself.  That statement is true except for the time you're not there.  Although I would think in a high school class it would be pointless to have a sub...at least for the things I taught.  Aaron Lambrecht filled in for me one day...he's the least famous of the Famous Lambrecht Boys.  This is going to be a long haul till Easter...I don't think we have a day off till then...April 12th...9 weeks or so.  I've recently found a surrogate internet family at Mattek.org  I think it's a great idea to have a family website like that, complete with a PHP driven forum for complaining about such common family foibles as the blacksheep cousin who hovers in the 150s in the WTA rankings...and Greg.  Damn my inferior computing skills!  Time to play Tiger Woods and correct Math.  

1/25/04  O Death, where is thy victory? O Grave, where is thy sting?  Sometimes I find myself struggling between what is real pain and joy with their cathartic representations.  But I'm beginning to realize that there really is no distinction; all feelings are real and genuine and mean something, as fleeting and fickle as they are sometimes.  It is the examination of them and how we react to them, based on our own personal relationship with the meaning of life and all of life's crazy adventures, that is truly important.  Emotion can help lead us to realization of the true meaning of those things, but it never really answers all our questions.  It's how we react to emotion and our analysis of it that, with help from above, that leads us to those answers and even to the right questions.  The ultimate emotional crossroads is death.  Was it a worthwhile relationship with that person?  But then you realize that, with all the other people you know who knew and loved that person, a crossroads isn't a very good metaphor; it's more like an endless web of feelings:  How is that person doing?  Should I be sadder for him?  for her?  for me?  Should I cry?  Should I feel guilty?  Can I do more for that person?  But a Christian sees something interwoven in all those questions of sadness and guilt and happiness:  the cross of Christ.  We mourn for those who will miss the departed, but not for the departed himself.  We smile and chuckle at the fond memories, but not at the sanctity and urgency of our time of grace.  I'll finish this later, perhaps...just a few thoughts for me and the other three people who read this.  

1/12/04  I'm still waiting for those "former students" to contact me with wholesome, yet highly suggestive, digital photographs.  Note to self:  explore, in writing, the psychological implications/significance/freakshow of one's life hinging so heavily on a certain professional football team.  Methinks it goes beyond a healthy catharsis for me.  Although "When I was seventeen ('96/'97) it was a very good year..."

1/5/04  Al Harris.  

1/1/2004  Yet another arbitrary day of celebration.  2004...an even year.  Even years are historically more uneventful for me.  I went to McDonald's yesterday and ordered a #9 with a Coke...one problem:  all out of Coke.  Can you believe that?  I once was at a McDonald's that ran out of French fries, now Coke.  Buck seems to like it here in the (big) city.  He gets to run around at school inside the fenced-in property.  He's much more demanding of attention when nobody else is around; in Appleton he has so many more people around, but here it's only me.  I think I'm going to head to Appleton tonight and then come back tomorrow or Saturday.  That means I have to watch the game here, but at least I have a bit of buffer time before school once again begins on Monday.  I am eating almonds.  I wonder why they don't make almondbutter.  I think it would be tastier than peanutbutter.  Pistachiobutter...now that would be good.  Time to correct Math...and play Tiger Woods 2004...I'm a genius.  

11/17/03  I'm beginning to hate my own name: Mr. Ehlke.  I sometimes hear it when nobody's around.  I find myself trying to help shadows with long division or explaining to pockets of air that plural nouns do not need apostrophes unless they're possessive.  Grades are down.  Morale is low.  The beatings must continue.  Hey, you're single.  I know somebody who's single.  You're obviously a perfect match...because, hey you've got something in common:  you're both single.  Why should anything else matter?  What?  Oh, you're too good, is that it?  Leave me alone.  Voters meeting tonight.  I hope I win. Cheer up.  The Packers won.  The Vikings lost.  One game, baby.  One game.  Go Lions.  My friend Eric is returning home for awhile over Thanksgiving.  He tells me he has some entertaining stories from his adventures on the other side of the earth.  To that I look forward.  That and can-shaped cranberry sauce...I don't know how my mom sculpts it so well.    

11/10/03  My students are finally writing in their journals again; I had neglected that time for about a week and a half or so...not sure why exactly, just forgot about it I guess.  I told them they could write about the Packer game tonight and how they were going to trim the Vikings' lead to one game.  How 'bout those Chargers?!?!  Whoha!  Yeah.  I've got a few things to get done tonight after school and then, without basketball anymore (yeah!), I'm going to go home, eat something, take a short nap, and then watch the Pack whoop up on them Eagles and Andy Reid.  Things go so much more smoothly when they are planned out well.  I don't think anyone could tell the difference between a winged lesson and a planned-out one, only that when it is winged, you must constantly be thinking about what you're doing next and so on.  With a planned one, the thinking's been done for you already, usually by yourself, but at least at a more sane time.  I have a housing opportunity close to school here:  an old house (65 years+) about 6 blocks away.  A well-involved member here is moving out to New Berlin and so now has this old house that he wants to either rent to me or possibly sell.  Methinks it best not to buy anything right now, but in the meantime it would be nice to have a place close to school (that saves me 45 minutes a day right there, sometimes more), plus I'd be able to have Buck down here then and then I'd be able to stay in shape better because I could run with him, plus I could probably run him over here at school because the property is fenced in with a high fence, as long as I lock all the gates so there's no chance of somebody coming in and leaving it open.  Awesome.  Go Pack!  I think I should go and start them on Christ Light...easy one today...something about God or something.  It turns out that old testament is important too...I thought it was just a really long intro.  

11/8/03  I just put all the pictures on the pictures page, but they're all really big files because I haven't finished putting them into thumbnail format.  I wish that when you shrink a picture within HTML it would automatically shrink the file size, but it doesn't.  So I need to resize all of those pictures to a smaller size, change the HTML to show the actual thumbnails, and then...ah, something else I think.  I haven't played around with HTML since summertime.  Girls basketball is done.  yeah.  We actually had one of our best games of the year today...we lost by 30-something, I think, but it was pretty good...I had predicted 6-60 after seeing the other team play on Thursday.  I yelled at the refs; in fact, I was pretty sarcastic the whole game towards them...imagine that.  I have a bunch of stuff to do here at school still.  A possible housing opportunity has arisen...only six blocks from school.  A church member is moving out to New Berlin and still has his old house.  I might be able to have Buck there if I decide to move.  I should eat something today.  Back to work.

11/3/03  Packers!  That game was good on so many levels: Ahman ran well, the o-line blocked very well, the tight ends blocked well, Henderson blocked well, Favre blocked well.  I suppose, had we lost, some would complain that we need to open up the offense downfield a bit.  A game like that does illuminate the crapiness of the games we did lose--especially the Vikes and Cardinals.  The defense played well...especially the secondary; the front line didn't get much penetration. I have parent/teacher confrontations tonight...er, consultations.  How come nobody ever writes on here?  I purposely write like an idiot so others feel  

11/2/03  I got a haircut yesterday.  I hate getting haircuts; first you have to shower to get a haircut and then you have to shower after getting a haircut to get all the pieces of hair out of your hair.  And it costs money.  If I ever open my own hair salon, I'm going to call it "Get a haircut, hippie!"  And I'll offer a free rinse afterward.  Places today ask you for a shampoo...before!  That makes no sense; I want you to take care of what you did to my hair, not what I did to it before I came to you.  It's all a big scam.  Go Pack.

10/24/03  Somebody cleaned my chalkboard; that was nice.  I'm taking a break from assembling the new (arrived 3-4 weeks ago) computer furniture.  It's actually not that hard to do, but I needed to get my lazy butt in gear.  It's stuck in one now, but I'm slowly climbing the hill.  I had a student yesterday confuse "Pentatuch" (or is it "Pentateuch"?) with "prostitute."  Mr. Ehlke:  "We call those first five books that God wrote through Moses the 'Pentatuch.'"  Student A:  "Is that like one of them ladies who be standin' on the street corner?"  Mr. Ehlke:  (stifling laugher sed frustra)  "No.  You're thinking of a prostitute.  Don't think about prostitutes; think about the Pentatuch."  Then today...  We were reading a Martin Luther biography, as we have been doing for afternoon devotion, when we came across this passage:  "Charles and the diet (of Worms) talked over Luther's request.  Finally Eck told Luther, 'Even though you don't deserve any special favors, the emperor in his mercy has agreed to give you twenty-four hours to think over your answer."  Student A reads:  "...the emperor in his mercy has agreed to give you twenty-four whores to think over your answer."  Mr. Ehlke:  "That's 'twenty-four hours.'  Had he accepted twenty-four whores, I don't think we'd be calling ourselves 'Lutheran.'"  I should really end with that, but I won't.  I might be golfing tomorrow:  "might" because of the current rainfall in the area.  Basketball was a surreal experience tonight.  That's all I'll say about that.  I miss my dog.  I dreamt about my dog last night.  Sad.  Pathetic.  Loser.  Me.  Not my dog.  We converted Celsius to Fahrenheit today.  Take the C and multiply by nine-fifths and then add 32.  Some caught on.  Some caught on.  How do you get the ones caught up so that they can locate Milwaukee on a map while at the same time dangling the carrot ahead of the ones who can find Kuala Lumpur?  That's the $23,000 a year question.  Tom joke:  I predict that the Packers will not lose this weekend.  I apologize to those of you who do not enjoy hearing "cute" stories about teachers' students, but anytime whores and prostitutes come up in religion class, it would be a sin to keep it to myself.  I be thinking that wouldn't happen in Two Rivers.  When will everyone here realize that I'm faking my way through everything?

10/21/03  Much cooler today.  Sentence fragment.  I think I'm going to go and put some checkmarks on the board next to people who aren't writing right now.  Well, I don't know, I think they are writing now.  I hate to say "you must write!" as if it's some sort of displeasurable thing to do; however, I hate it when they just sit there wasting time.  Also I hate to draw attention to a student who is sitting quietly, even if he/she isn't writing as they're supposed to be doing.  Sometimes I am compelled to question their intelligence when they look back at me to see if I saw them doing something they weren't supposed to be doing.  I should have used this whole example when I talked about sins of omission and commission today, the former being when one does not do what one is supposed to do.  (e.g. not writing during journal time)  Oh yes, I forgot to follow through on one child's consequence of having to copy a paragraph when he wasn't following along.  I hate to use writing as a consequence, but I think this time it's appropriate because since he wasn't following along, he has to copy it down so that I know he read it.  At least that's how I'm fooling myself right now.  It's working really well...I'm an easy fool to fool.  I could really use a nice long week off right now to get caught up with everything here, including getting the computer room up and running.  I have a little gas today.  A very wise teacher (my brother) told me that the best thing to do when you have gas is to walk around the classroom and let it seep out slowly and then blame the children.  Now that's true wisdom; they don't teach you that at MLC...well, unless you read The Cabbage's "Tips for Student Teachers."  Boy, that was a good list; I'm usually pretty self-deprecating but I liked that one.  The phone is ringing right now.  I think it's nature.  I best start walking around the classroom now.

10/20/03  It felt criminal to be inside today.  The day a teacher stops reevaluating his methods is the day he ceases being a real teacher.  That was dumb.  I be learning lots of things this year about 5th and 6th graders and the importance of environment on the upbringing of children.  I see Ben Wink certainly isn't leaving any bridge back to MLC World unscorched.  Is "unscorched" a word?  I think he may have gone overboard a bit with the music major comment; I for one didn't have any respect for them.  Just kidding, Kevin, I love you.  And I love that Stangel (sp?) guy who would erase my library fines for me...he was a fine music major.  I think I'm going to start teaching my students Latin next year.  Already I bring it in a lot...which adds credence to my opinion that everyone should have to learn at least some Latin.  How can you teach the word "circumnavigate" if you don't know Latin?  Or "regicide"?  Do you do drugs, Danny?  Everyday.  Good, so what's the problem?  I miss my dog Buck.  I haven't seen him since the 2nd or 3rd week in August; that's about two months.  I'm going to see him a week from this Friday for sure, but I might try to go this weekend as well.  You never know how long you have left with your loved ones.  I suppose I should see my parents and grandparents too, but you have to realize that they aren't bogged down by those dratted dog years.  Is "dratted" a word?  I have no idea what it means, but that's what came out.  I want to give a shout-out (as Missy and the kids say) to all my buddies back at MLC:  let's see, there's...um...Andy Dais...um...Brett...Brett...Freddie...um...Arlen...Larry...Prezzy Teddy...and that nice lady in the library.  If you go by that nice lady, give her a big shout-out from the northsieeda of M-town.  I'm listening to sexually-suggestive lyrics while at school...shame on you, Peter Gabriel.  And me, yes, shame on me.  Hey, I wonder if any of the teachers will dress up for conference since it takes place on Halloween.  That would be great!  I'm either going to go as fat-pastor-with-a-short-tie or Karl Gurgel.  Wait, there's always principal-short-sleeve-with-a-tie...that one's popular.  I'm a jerk.  Right now I'm dressed as dweeb-who-needs-a-haircut-but-won't-get-one-because-he's-a-cheap-loser. 

10/17/03  What a day.  Thanks, Missy, for complaining about MLC; it made me feel like I was a college student, once again in the land of trivial crusades against cracked ID cards...very typical of the cafeteria powers-that-be from what I recall.  I remember many times during Crapticum (being uncomfortably forced into teaching at local public schools) when bag (at first I mistyped and had "bad"...a Freudian typo perhaps?) lunches were promised, but not delivered.  I miss being able to complain about trivial things like that; my beefs have grown much larger now in the real world.  We had an open house here at school last night:  nobody came to my room.  4 or 5 families in all methinks...down in the lower grades.  I think I shall put a Mr. Trite on the homepage.  I thought of one.  I miss writing The Cabbage.  Missy, write something.

10/15/03  Why isn't anyone else writing anything?  I would love to hear somebody complain about MLC; I miss complaining about MLC and/or New Ulm.  It's 5:20 and I haven't done anything for tomorrow because I just got done with basketball practice...fun, fun.  All the little things are what sends you over the edge as a teacher.  All the things nobody could have prepared you for.  Sentence fragment.  I am eating Combos...pepperoni pizza.  Nutritious linner...I mean, lupper....I mean, dunch.  I started reading a book called "Inventing the Flat Earth:  Columbus and Modern Historians"  The gist of it is that it explores how the commonplace myth of Columbus' contemporaries (and medieval people) believing that the earth was flat.  It's absolutely not true, but I know for a fact that some children are still taught that.  The author thinks that the lie began sometime in the early 1800s by some American authors, including Washington Irving. I have to correct some stuff now.

10/14/03  I finally have my computer here at school so I'm able to write everyday (just about); I'm writing as my students write during their journal time.  Because of that and the grand example I want to make that all you have to do is write--not thing--during this time, these digressions may be even more stream of consciousness than ever...which would make them better, in some people's opinion, worse in others, perhaps.  It's raining here; it's rained pretty much all day here in Milwaukee.  I'm still quite bitter about the Packers game.  It's going to ruin my whole week.  I should really digress more about current events.  I suppose the obvious thing would be the bad press the Iraqi situation is getting.  There's a kid not writing right now, instead he is playing drums with his pencils; I'm not sure if he thinks I'm stupid or what.  I'm not going to say anything; rather, I'm going to make him write tomorrow at recess.  Little punk.  NO!  I am not using writing as a form of punishment; rather, I am using his lack of recess time..."You use the time I give you now or you use the time at recess."  You see, it's a matter of time, not writing.  I have so much to do tonight.  I'm feeling very burned out.  I need time off.  I can see why so many WELS teachers end up quitting.  Right now I'd exchange a week in the mill for a week here.  42 hours a week!  Imagine that!  And you get paid for overtime.  I'm lucky to put in 42 hours in over 3 days.  That's it!  He's doing it again...there goes his recess time.  Bye.

9/13/03  I know it's been a long time.  I've been extremely busy with school lately.  I went to New York City.  I don't really feel like writing much tonight; I have lots of work to do and want to relax a little bit.  Perhaps once I get into the mid-year groove (rut) and when we have some vacation...I believe we don't have one until the end of November, then I'll be able to update this site a bit more.  In the meanwhile feel free to read the old issues and sign the guest rant page and all that.  

8/17/03  Just watched Kundun for the first time...Scorcese...pretty good.  He's never made a movie I haven't liked.  Today we had the big corn roast at church.  I got to talk with Andy Dais for awhile...a loyal Cabbage reader.  Other cool stuff happened but I don't feel like writing about it.  I got a cell phone the other day.  Now I am hip.  I'm done now.

8/12/03  Just got back from the Steve Hackett gig at Borders.  Wow.  He played for about 30-40 minutes I'd say.  I got goosebumps when he played Horizons.  I got there about 90 minutes early and there were just a few people, but then it really filled up by the time he played.  The autograph line was so long that they limited it to one piece per fan, which was understandable since there were other people like me who had quite a stack and Steve would still be there.  He was very friendly, although I was hoping he would have more of a Q&A with the audience; I had a few questions that I wanted to ask him.  I got to talk with his tour manager a bit and with a few other "old" Genesis fans...some for quite awhile.  It's not everyday that I get to chat with people who were actually at some of those early shows.  One guy was telling me that he was at the Lamb tour and I mentioned that I wasn't even born then (that was '74-'75) and he told me to go do something to myself (in a nice way) and I explained that I'm jealous; I wish I would have been alive back then.  Let's just hope Steve tours the US next year so I can see him play some electric guitar as well.  To illustrate how acoustic and electric aren't interchangeable he played an acoustic rendition of "Smoke on the Water"...it got some pretty good laughs from the audience.  I was about 15 feet away from him when he played...not bad...especially for a free show.  I should have gotten him to play Copper Rock.  I'm going to go read Newsweek now I think.  If you're in Minneapolis around noon tomorrow, go see Steve play at Borders.  The greatest guitarist of all time...and I touched him...and he signed my picture of him that I've had framed for the last 5 years...I took it out of the frame of course.  Aren't you all jealous?  I know I am...I'm jealous of myself right now.  He's the first Genesis member I've met.  Some guy there made a comment to me about how he'd think about going to see Phil just to say he met him and to have him sign some old Genesis stuff, but certainly not to hear his new music...I said "right on, brother."  He then said that a rumor is flying around that Phil's going deaf and may stop touring because of it.  If I start going deaf, then maybe I'll start listening to some of his stuff.  Now if I can only meet Anthony Phillips.  

8/09/03  I was happy to see that my old writing partner Seth stopped by the guest rant page.  And he's just got to show off with all those mult-word sentences, strung together with little punctuation.  I think I overuse punctuation, sometimes.  Hey, brother Scott, let me or Kevin know if you want to go golfing sometime.  I went golfing on Wednesday and I need more of it.  Often times I'm not very consistent.  Sometimes I am consistent, except when I'm not.  Pure hilarity.  I went in to school today at 9 to help clean the school; I got put on window detail and my shoulders are pretty woozy from 4 or 5 hours of doing that.  Josh Roth signed the guestbook!  Now if I can just find a wife and my life is complete.  In two weeks I'm going to NYC.  I had to get my installation date changed so I could go...that was a scary thing to do.  I was anticipating the snooty "You want to change your installation date so you can go watch some tennis?!?" and "You care about Andre Agassi more than Jesus Christ?" but I received none of the sort; it was dealt with with understanding and stuff.  What's worse: having a gay bishop or a lesbian bishop or a woman bishop?  Discuss.  Steve Hackett is coming to Borders on Tuesday.  That's right kids--the master himself.  I almost forgot that the Packers play tonight; I hope I get the game down here in Cedarburg.  Back in New York City!  If I become Secretary of Transportation someday...every kid's dream, (by using "kid" I'm being colloquial; I've given up to some extent on insisting on using the non-juvenile goat term "child"--except in an educational setting) I am going to require all flights into the NYC airports to play that song at landing.  I'm listening to Steve right now...his Firth of Fifth solo.  That's right, kids, the best guitar solo of all time.  Just wait until my indoctrination of progressive rock starts on my urban schoolchildren.  No, really, you have to.  

8/06/03  Arnold.  I think he'll win.  I'm not thrilled about his politics, but he is not a Democrat.  Regardless, it is a fascinating situation in CA.  What I think is ludicrous is that Dems are complaining about how it's "undemocratic" to force a recall even though that is the law (just like the electoral college is the law) and because, if my memory serves me well, the recall is a very progressive reform from the likes of TR and later FDR--putting more power in the hands of the people.  Recalls I would guess have been historically heralded not by Republicans but by the other side.  I have a headache.

8/05/03  Packers.  One can never say much about an early preseason game.  I suppose the one bright spot was the play of Barnett or whatever his name is; he looked very quick and tackled well...unlike that Hardy guy who stunk and did me a favor by retiring.  Creationism in public schools: on one hand it would be good because it may, in a strange way, open up God's Word to children who may not hear it elsewhere.  On the other hand, presenting Creation as a theory is a very dangerous thing...it's truth because God tells us it's truth, not because of some archeological find or because we can reconcile the layout of the land with the Floor or whatever else.  The big controversy now is the new film by Mel Gibson, "The Passion."  It apparently portrays the final days of Christ's life according to The Bible...God forbid!  Guess what?  It's being condemned as anti-Semitic because Jews kill Christ!  I hate to make this comparison, but it would be like saying that Steven Spielberg is anti-German because those Nazis in a couple of his movies were Germans.  I just can't get over how unbelievable this is.  Apparently Christians are anti-Semitic because they believe that Christ was crucified by request of Jewish leaders via the Romans.  Remember that Pearl Harbor thingy on December 7th, 1941?  Well, if you believe that happened, you are a racist who hates Japanese people.  These people overlook the fact that Mel Gibson and other Christians believe that Christ is the only perfect man to ever live, is the Savior of all sins of all people of all time, and rose from the dead...And what ethnicity was Christ?  German?  English?  Japanese?  No, I think that He was a Jew!!!  My God is a Jew!  I'm anti-Semitic!!!  Not to change subjects, but this whole argument does show the absurdity of real anti-Semitism throughout history...e.g. KKK and the crusades etc.  By the way, remember all those disciples and apostles who wrote The Bible???  Anti-Semitic Swedes?  Jew-hating Italians?  No, I think they were, get this...Jews.  So, you've got God being a Jew, the guys who wrote the gospels being Jews, but for some reason portraying Christ being killed by Jews is anti-Semitic.  Wow.  If Powell doesn't serve as Sec. of State next term, my first guess is Condoleeza Rice.  But I would prefer that Cheney becomes Sec. of State and Rice becomes Vice Pres., then she is in prime position to run for president in 2008.  I would rather have her win than one of those Jews.  They killed Christ, you know.  (heavy, heavy irony)  Liberate Liberia.  Bush is turning into a Democrat.  More race ranting:  Kobe "The Adulterer" Bryant today paraphrased MLK Jr. by saying that an injustice done to one is an injustice done to all, apparently implying that what he is going through is somehow either on the level of blacks during the Civil Rights Movement (which I don't connect with today's "Civil Rights Movement," which is a pathetic front for liberalism and gay rights, an insult...) or that his "injustice" is because of his race.  This should insult the following people: people of Colorado, the alleged victim, blacks, whites, Americans, Lakers, men, women.  Even Jews.  When movies start coming out on the atrocities of Saddam Hussein and he is portrayed as an Arab and you watch it and agree that he was an Arab or Iraqi or whatever, you are a racist and should be ashamed of yourself and your country.  I don't know if Kobe did it or not, for the record.  I think it's shameful to make that comment, though, and to show up at a teen choice awards ceremony...apparently he loves teens, especially the girls.  

7/27/03  Happy birthday, Kevin.  I have not digressed for roughly a week.  I want to thank those of you who have digressed on the guest-rant page.  Bodies are being found.  Qusay and Uday and Dennehy and hopefully Saddam will be next.  Not implying that Dennehy's body being found was a good thing, just that it was found today.  I am getting quite a bit done as far as planning for school goes.  It's sort of hard and frustrating because I realize that so much of it will change as I go.  But changing a plan that's already there is better than planning something that isn't.  I have no idea what that meant.  Steve Hackett is coming to the Fox Point (I think) Borders, which is about 10 minutes from where I live.  I'm really excited about that...I even got stuff ready for him to sign: a picture of him, Genesis albums, solo albums.  Hopefully Brett can come down that day--August 12th.  I might be going to New York for the U.S. Open, but I have to find out whether or not I can make the 1st flight on that Sunday...I'm getting installed that morning and don't know when exactly I'll be able to get out of there and to the airport.  I think my parents might come to my installation, so maybe Dave can come down with them and they can take us to the airport right after the service...that would be swell.  Dave won an all expenses paid trip to the Open from the friendly folks at Prince.  And he's being kind enough to invite me along...not his wife...he he he.  She's got school; I don't start till the 3rd of September.  So hopefully I'll get all planned and ready so I can go, pending the whole flight situation on that Sunday.  I watched Braveheart last night.  And I just watched a left-slanted program on CNN about a murderer in Texas who was executed.  One memorable quote was from a Texas official who said that (this might not be verbatim): "People always call Texas the execution capital of America and all that...why can't they call it the victim rights capital of America?"  Interesting thought.  I haven't made up my mind about capital punishment.  I certainly won't say it's wrong, but I think that the benefits of it are grossly distorted by proponents of it.  For one thing, it costs more to execute someone than it does to imprison him/her for life.  Plus the whole deterrent thing just doesn't fly in my book...if someone's going to kill someone, I think he's just as likely to do it in a state with capital punishment or sans.  And for some in the religious right (that term I don't like because...they should call it the "politico-religious right" or something) to say that God promotes capital punishment is not right...He certainly allows it and used it when Israel was a theocracy in the Old Testament, but to make the inference that that means the United States ought to use it is ludicrous.  I think that abolishing it completely might just be worth it to shut up the anti-life (pro-choice) loons who erroneously point out the seemingly hypocritical irony of pro-lifers being pro-capital punishment.  I should really start my own political party.  I'm right with the Libertarians to a point, but right now I think that only marijuana should be legal...I'm not so sure about "harder" drugs.  At the very least, the use of those should be dealt with not by the prison system, but by mandatory drug treatment programs.  Also, Libertarians basically believe that the government should let you do what you want as long as you don't infringe upon the rights of others (sounds strangely like The Constitution, doesn't it?), but they take a laissez-faire approach to abortion.  How can killing someone who has no say in it not be the ultimate example of somebody's rights being trampled on?  On the other hand, they are against all gov. funding of abortion.  Being very pro-victims' rights, I believe that most Libertarians are pro-death penalty, but like I just mentioned, I'm not so sure about that.  Plus, I support the ongoing military activities in Iraq, Afghanistan, and soon, Liberia.  Libertarians don't.  I'm done now.   

7/21/03  I'm currently in the process of moving...waiting for another load of laundry to dry as I write this at my parents' house.  After I get settled in and my computer online, I may begin designing my new church and school's website.  I don't want to spend too much time doing that and not enough planning the teaching, which is more important, but I'm going to try to get it online by the start of the school year.  I have a feeling of overwhelming guilt right now because my negligence may have ended the life of one or more of my brother's plants.  I watered and watered and watered...I even sang to them...but it just wasn't enough apparently.  Actually I watered everyday I was there; I was gone last weekend, but I think it rained one of those days so I don't think that did it.  Oh well.  At least they didn't realize I replaced one of the cats with one that wasn't dead.  Buck pooped on his walk again.  This is becoming routine for him ever since he turned 10.  I'm thinking about getting him a diaper.  But don't tell him it's a diaper...it's an adult security undergarment.  I happened to watch a bit of The Goonies last night; that really brought back memories of watching a taped version over and over and over.  It was that and Pee Wee's Big Adventure, which, by the way, is now out on DVD...I've almost bought it on several occasions.  Once I rented it and even watched it with the commentary by Burton.  The most memorable tidbit was about when Pee Wee is chaining up his bicycle and you can see the hilariously long chain being fed up through the compartment on his bike--an editing gaffe that apparently happened in the pan and scan cut that TV stupidly uses.  On the DVD version they fixed it.  I should really put a section on here explaining pan and scan and why it's stupid and why people who like "full frame" or pan and scan are stupid as well.  It's like taking Da Vinci's "The Last Supper" which is, we'll say, four feet wide, but you only have a frame that is two feet wide, so you cut off half the disciples to fit it in.  Would the disciples like that?  Would Da Vinci like that?  I banged my knee last night moving furniture at my bro's apartment (my new apartment).  I'm playing tennis later and I hope it doesn't hurt too much.  Often before I play tennis or when I'll be outside on hot and humid days, I powder myself in strategic areas.  Strategic areas meaning on myself, not, say, in well-ventilated rooms...not to say that that's not important, especially when painting or working with strong adhesives, but I'm talking about powdering as in baby powder.  But today some Gold Bond medicated powder was handy so I used that.  It tingles...somewhat intensively; I'm surprised they don't have a warning label about using on strategic areas.  It says for external use only, but nothing else.  I'm thinking about getting started on my church's website...I think I already mentioned that so never mind then.  Do Mexican restaurants have to fish out all the limes in Corona bottles before recycling them?  This question has been plaguing me for some time, but I've all but concluded that they don't have to because limes are biodegradable and probably are easily filtered out during the recycling process.  We got a parking ticket last night for parking on the street.  We've been doing that occasionally for years and haven't gotten a ticket in years.  I don't know why the cops can't be out there worrying about the real criminals.  But here they are keeping me down.  The ticket was written at 4 AM, apparently before the doughnut shops open.  I have to get my laundry.

7/16/03  So I'm sleeping and I feel a sharp pain in my thigh.  I barely wake up and see one of my sister-in-law's cats clawing at my leg.  In my somnambulant (although I was lying down) state, I slapped at the spot that he clawed me on and fell back asleep.  I woke up in the morning and was walking around and noticed a black stain on my shorts...right where the attack took place.  I grabbed the end of my shorts and upturned them revealing a large crushed dragonfly.  I don't know if I or the cat actually caused the bug's demise...I like to think it was a team effort.  Anyway, I think those shorts might be permanently stained now.  I don't have to teach music this year; the 3rd and 4th grade teacher swapped my music with her phy-ed...not a bad deal for me.  Plus it'll be good to get to know the children I'll have in years to come.  bye.

7/13/03  Went to the Howard Levy gig last night...good stuff.  You can find pictures on the Copper Rock website (copperrockcoffee.com...I'm too lazy to write a href code right now).  I knew Howard's name from his past work with Bela Fleck and the Flecktones.  My marvelous ice-breaking question for the Grammy Award winner before the show:  "So when'd you get rid of the mustache?"  I was a roadie of sorts, running to get power strips, plugging stuff in, moving parts of piano around, moving chairs and tables.  No, I am a roadie...that is my new calling.  He played with three musicians, all of whom I believe are from Lawrence University in one way or another.  I wasn't expecting much from them, but they were quite good I thought...the guitarist really surprised me probably because he looked so young to be playing quality jazz guitar like that...for a white guy anyway.  Anyway, I hate it when people are moody...being nice one minute, only to turn bitchy the next with no forewarning.  Manipulating...selfishness...etc.  I head back to Waukesha today; I hope the cats are alive.  I have plenty of work to do this week...I want to get my year-long plans and the first few weeks of my block plans done before our meeting on Tuesday.  I know I don't have to, but anyone who knows me realizes that I am an over-achieving perfectionist who likes to get things done early...ha.  I'm done now. 

7/12/03  Big day for me.  I'm trying out the boxer-briefs.  I've been thinking about switching from briefs to boxers for some time now, but wasn't willing to make the full commitment.  They're not what I was expecting; I was hoping that they would be looser than the briefs, but they're really like boxer-sized briefs.  I think they might feel like they're riding up on me and that would not be a good thing.  Maybe someday I'll make the full switch.  My friend Matt Schultz (Shultzie!) is coming up to Appleton this evening...I am here for the weekend...we shall have a grand ole time.  Am I the only one who was disappointed to hear that McDonald's switched to all white meat Chicken McNuggets?  Now they and Wendy's are advertising like crazy that they have all-white nuggets...I don't want all-white meat!!!  I want the dark meat in there...it is moister and it tastes better.  Not that I eat chicken nuggets a lot; the last time must have been well over a year ago.  Nor is it something worth writing about here, but I just don't like it.  I'm a professional...I'll rise above it.  I thought about making a list of top ten Sausagegate headlines.  But I think it's been overdone...at least on the outside.  Nobody would relish it.  Enough!  I heard that the guy who is the brat is married to the Italian sausage girl...I wonder if they buy condiments together.  I went golfing yesterday.  I didn't shoot really well, but there were glimmers of hope in my game.  I am not very consistent...at least some of the time I'm not.  

7/08/03  I'm wondering why writing dates this decade doesn't take on the 7/8/3 format.  Because the "0" before the "3" really serves no purpose.  Then again, it would be confusing to just have a 3 because somebody might think I meant the '30s somehow, but left out the second number.  I'm in Waukesha this week working on school stuff.  I'm meeting with the old teacher to see what he all taught so I don't double up on too much and also to get some ideas from all his experience.  I have not digressed since the wedding.  It was very interesting.  Ha.  From my vantage point, everything went extremely well.  Both of them said, "I do."  Granted, I sensed a measure of uncertainty in Kathie's voice, but she was probably just fighting the glare off of Scott's head.  The night before we had rehearsal and then rehearsal dinner.  Both were fun.  Trinity Ev. Lutheran in Waukesha is a beautiful church.  I guess they just redid it a year or two ago.  The rehearsal dinner was at this little place.  I don't remember the name of it, but Gino was the owner.  He's Italian and was telling me about how he's got a lawsuit going against the Catholic church right now, with a priest he had when he was a boy.  Sort of a sad story...apparently the priest didn't molest him or anything, so Gino's suing for neglect.  I mean, he thought he was a good-looking kid, so what's wrong with him?  I ushered with two other brothers.  That went okay, I think.  It was a little complicated since they had this candle lighting ceremony thing after the unity candle thing so we had to hand out candles to everybody and then explain to them what they were for and, since it was rather unique, we were faced with many blank stares of confusion.  We had only one fire, but we were given the authority to put out incipient fires, so all was okay.  We had steak sandwiches at rehearsal dinner.  We got to the wedding 2 hours early and walked around in our tuxes and sunglasses pretending we were Secret Service agents...well, that's what I did.  The reception was fun...I will wrap it up in two words:  open bar.  They now be on their honeymoon and I be house/cat sitting.  They left me with $ and food and beer, which is ironic since I should be the one paying them rent for staying here.  One of the cats won't leave me alone; I've already almost stepped on her, sat on her, and then there was that tragic incident in the bathroom.  Kevin told me that Dorothy Martin from Kettle MLHS told him she got an email from me, which is true--I sent her an email thanking her for signing the guestbook--but apparently she didn't sign the guestbook...odd.  I could see someone who hates Dorothy Martin signing it out of spite and including messages like, "I'm Dorothy Martin and I'm a big dum idiot," but there was no such message.  Odd.  Just for the record, I don't know Dorothy, so I don't know if she is a big dum idiot; I can only assume that she is not.  If she is, I apologize for drawing attention to that fact.  Gangs of New York is now out and if you don't go buy it and watch it multiple times, you have your priorities out of whack.  Time to get back to reading elementary literature books.

7/02/03  My brother Scott asks me what I meant by "intersting."  Assuming he means "interesting," in reference to my comment about his upcoming wedding...that it should be interesting, I didn't mean nothing by it.  It's just one of those things I say a lot when I have little to say about something.  I've never had a brother get married, so there's no precedence, so I don't really know what to expect.  A further needless analysis of my comment:  I think I usually say that when it's also something that I'm looking forward to such as Packer games, presidential elections, and the like.  "That Packer game should be interesting."  I'm not predicting doom at all; I'm hoping for a win and many, many scores.  I have to get fitted again for my tux when I pick it up.  I think I'm going to take Buck for a walk now.  If a wedding reception has an open bar, is it poor stewardship not to get drunk?  I was touched that Scott read my digression; I thought my mom was the only one.    

6/30/03  Went to the Peter Gabriel gig on Thursday night.  Good show.  It's always tough when a good musician has a few hits and is able to play before a mostly half-ass "play Sledgehammer!" audience.  Perhaps it's not as tough for him as it is for someone who is truly a fan of the music.  Even when I nicely told the young ladies to quiet down a few times, they continued to talk during songs they didn't know (everything sans Sledgehammer) and even when Peter was prefacing songs, which is one of the best parts of seeing something live, in my opinion.  I think I've been spoiled seeing both Bill Bruford and Tony Levin (Gabriel's bassist) live in an audience of just a few hundred...getting to meet them and talk to them after the show...where the audience didn't greet every passage with half-drunken wailings and cheers...where fans are fans of the music, not the beer, food, Summerfest, etc...where courtesy for others outweighs self-indulgent narcissistic whooping and wailing...where people go to the show either being very familiar with the music they are about to hear, or very eager to be exposed to new music...where a constant stream of "fans" does not travel to and fro during the gig...where, as in the words of Frank Zappa, "music is the best."  That having been said, I thoroughly enjoyed the music...the audience was terrible...at least from my vantage point, which was a fairly expensive one, not the most expensive, but something tells me it was the same throughout.  I'm guessing Rush audiences are even better because the true, diehard appeal is much wider than that with Gabriel...you have fans like me who have followed his career since 1967...then you have fans who know Steam, Sledgehammer, and maybe In Your Eyes...'tis a shame those "fans" cannot be open-minded enough to give his other music a genuine listen, or at least be respectful enough to those around them who have.  The Blind Boys of Alabama made a surprise visit; they played at a local Casino later that night and stopped by.  They played "Sky Blue," which is really neat since I'm assuming that will be the only time they'll play it this leg.  I was a little disappointed, though, that they didn't play "Biko," which I would think is very powerful live.  Would I see Gabriel again?  Yes, but I would go out of my way not to see him at Summerfest.  I think that it was the worst audience I've been a part of...perhaps Rush shows had comparable audiences (big maybe), but the music is not as intricate...strike that...it's intricate, but doesn't have as many quiet passages as Peter's, so maybe I didn't notice it as much.  Why a casual fan would spend that much to sit through a great show and talk and get up and walk around, I cannot comprehend.  On the one hand, I love to see good musicians succeed because they deserve it and because it leads to more good music, but on the selfish hand, I hope they don't.  My brother is getting married on Friday...irony...Independence Day...killing that joke...  That should be interesting.  I'm going to be posting a little story-type thing by Paul Mattek.  I think I've mentioned this before but I never got around to it until now.  I'll put a link to it on the frontpage.  Hits are still pretty high...not sure why no feedback though...I think I'm expecting too much of people.  If you were at the Peter Gabriel show on Friday, I hate you.  If you weren't, I hate you.  I'm sorry; I love you.

6/25/03  I just posted the new issue without proofreading it...I better do that sometime.  It's hard to start writing articles again after taking over a month off.  I don't think they're particularly good, but I'll be curious to hear what other people think.  bye.

6/24/03  It's almost 2 AM right now.  I just came home from my friend's house because they don't have A/C yet and it's a bit toasty.  It's not so much the humidity, it's the heat.  Their fridge broke; I'm not sure what happened...the freezer end of the deal is being held up, but not the fridge.  Lots of food I had to throw out.  Some catfish in there...smelly.  I have to get writing now...not sure it will get done by Thursday...for sure I'll have something done.  Thanks to Jake and Ben for writing.  Time to go it is.

6/23/03  Not much to write...the new issue is still scheduled for Thursday, although I haven't written anything yet...tomorrow, I guess. I finally realized that I need to make images the correct size before I upload them to the server...else shrinking them in html not only needlessly takes up bandwidth, it blurs the image and makes it slower for users (especially dial-uppers).  Thanks to Jake for guest ranting...keep doing it.  I don't know if all the visitors to the site are either lazy or scared to either digress or sign the guestbook.  I don't know if that last sentence was good.  I shall go now.  How 'bout that Supreme Court?

6/21/03 It’s so much easier to just add these with Frontpage. It automatically adds that second space in between sentences, unlike this entry, which I’m doing the old fashioned way. Awhile back (months ago) I started using my Digressions page as a log for my running. I stopped doing that, in part because I stopped running for awhile there the first half of May, but for those of you wanting to keep track of my cardiovascular health, I have been running regularly again (just about everyday). As you read on The Cabbage homepage, I will be writing a new issue starting tonight. I have no idea what I’m going to write on, but I’m sure there’s enough stuff in the news right now to find something. Not sure if I’ll make it a traditional PDF or only as a webpage or both most likely. I realize we probably won’t be as widely read right away as when we were at MLC on campus (since paper copies were available), but I really hope it can catch on a little bit here in the summer. Writing articles is a good intellectual escape for me from 5th and 6th grade material. Okay, I should save some words for writing tonight. Again, please let people (especially non MLCers) about the new site and the new issue coming out…I promise that it will be purely world/national news, no inside stuff. I think I started that trend throughout this last school year; I remember years ago we always strived to have at least one non-MLC story…towards the end of this last year I felt like I was conceding some cheap humor every time I had inside MLC stuff….not that that’s a bad thing, but I think it narrows our potential readership. (only 10 people instead of 12). bye. back to top

6/20/03 Less than a week to Peter Gabriel.  Like any casual Peter Gabriel fan, I'm burning a CD of songs played in the latest setlists.  Actually, there are two songs I can't say I've heard before (from Ovo), but I found MP3s of them illegally off the internet.  That's right, Orrin Hatch, come get me!  I shall now digress concerning illegal downloading of music... I personally don't think it will affect me much because most of the stuff I listen to is either from dead people or from artists who have a fairly intellectual and ethically-sound fanbase.  Personally, I don't care if Britney Aguilairheada or Eminems or Matchbox 32.5 have music stolen from them because if that causes just one of these so-called artists with mindless, pop dribble to pack up shop, I'm happy.  On a purely objective basis, of course, I have to admit that it is stealing and is wrong.  I do think that for some lesser-known artists (e.g. Marillion, Nick Harper) and even for some of the big names that have a selective audience (Peter Gabriel, King Crimson), that file-sharing actually benefits them.  It opens up different types of music to people who most likely wouldn't hear it on commercial crap radio or the MTV.  That's one thing I don't get about Robert Fripp (of KC); he complains and complains about people taping shows and "stealing" music files and so on, yet most King Crimson fans own every album and try to go to every show that they can.  Good music will not fade away like the crap on the radio that can be #1 one week and not played the next...so it's understandable for big labels and their crap "artists" to fight against illegal file-sharing; they do actually lose money.  Pop crap generally (not always) creates a following of intellectually bankrupt people who don't grasp the ethical nature of file-sharing--this is another reason that it's probably more of a problem with them.  Somebody who owns every Gabriel album (except Ovo), even all the remasters, who downloads 2 MP3s so he can hear them before the concert (which he's paying over $50 for), in my opinion, is not on the same ethical level as someone who downloads the latest pop crap so he/she doesn't have to go over to Best Buy and buy it.  A sidenote about the MTV:  a lot of people complain about how it's corrupting our youth today--promoting sexual immorality, drug use, etc.  I think the most serious offense MTV is guilty of is promoting mediocrity.  You watch these shows, especially ones with audiences like TLR or whatever and Beachhouse whatever, and you have people talking like Tiffany Schultz (Cabbage reference):  "I like totally love Eminem because, like, he, like, totally is cool."  Kids see this behavior and shallowness and, since it's on TV and since it's so popular, they think it's acceptable and even desirable to act and talk this way.  For some people, it is.  But I think there are children out there who have awesome potential who watch this and are dummied down and who drop their standards and goals for themselves.  That having been said, I do like watching the Tom Green Show sometimes.  Oh, and Punk'd.  One time Ashton Kutcher (sp?) was getting punk'd and he sensed the punk, so he counter-punk'd.  Television brilliance.  Better than that show is Comedy Central's Trigger Happy TV...very funny.  My car is going to cost close to a grand.  I'm going to take some friends down to Milwaukee for a flight; we're leaving at 4 or 5 in the morning, I think.  I offered because then I'll have a car this coming week.  I changed the Copper Rock site around a bit.  I'm also going to work on finishing this site (finally). I wish more people would use the guest rant page.  Harry Potter comes out tonight...I think I'll wait for someone else to buy it and read it and then I'll borrow it and read it.  Or maybe I'll download it illegally off the internet. back to top

6/19/03 Now we had to take my car to the dealer because they didn't know how to fix it exactly...not good.  I didn't do too much today: read a bit and took my dog for a walk.  I don't know if it's because he's getting older or more stubborn, but he thinks that he can poop on walks now...probably a little of both.  He never used to poop on walks or bikerides, but it's becoming a regular thing now.  I talked with Greg Mattek the other day about websites and such.  He gave me a few pointers with the Copper Rock site and I think I'll redo the whole thing...nothing too major, but streamline it a bit and maybe try to get a few more pictures on there.  I also need to fix up the cabbage (and the Digressions) site.  I have to finish my picture page...I did post a bunch of pictures on there (on a hidden link) but it took a few minutes to download even with broadband, so I better compress the images a bit...at least the thumbnails.  I thought that when you shrunk an image in HTML it automatically made the file smaller, but now I see my folly.  I'm an idiot.  Later tonight I shall play some tennis.  Next week I'm going to see Peter Gabriel...pretty excited about that; I've never seen him before.  I'm trying to decide between the Slipperman costume and shaving an inverted 'V' into my hair.  If anybody out there (besides Brett and Ben) got those allusions, email me...you've won a prize. back to top   

6/17/03 My car’s computer is all messed up. They’re towing it over to Little Chute where they have better diagnostic equipment who specializes in “later GM models.” “Later”? It’s a ’94…almost ten years old. My dog is older than my car, though; he’s 10. People always say then that that’s like 70 in dog years, but it really doesn’t work that way. Dogs mature relatively much faster then humans. Moreover, they go down hill much more rapidly…it’s more like a plateau for dogs and a hill for humans. A two-year-old dog is usually full-grown. That doesn’t translate well to a 14-year-old human being full-grown; that doesn’t happen till about 18 or 20. Same thing when they get older: Buck is 10 now but certainly does not act or look like the equivalent of a 70-year-old human. He’s slowing down a little bit, but can still run quite fast and looks quite healthy. He did break his hip the other day, but that happens all the time. Anyway, I should go take him for a run. Seth called just now and it appears as if he and I are going to go enjoy a beverage or two later this evening. He told me I should see if I can get a Dell put into my car. I’ll ask the mechanic if we can just stick in the 486 I got sitting down in my basement. back to top

6/16/03 Not much time to digress right now...I've got snacks coming. I'm working on finishing the final product of my home page here...it will not look like the rest of this site, since it's really separate from The Cabbage. I think I'll be able to finish it either later tonight or sometime tomorrow. I'm also strongly considering writing some new articles for The Cabbage since I just checked our site stats and it appears that we're actually getting more unique visitors now than we did in May...went over the 100,000 hit mark, by the way. We'll see. Check back often and please sign the guestbook. back to top

6/15/03 Three weeks since I've last digressed... I’m not sure if I should use Word to write these and then cut and paste or if I should make some sort of form system for myself to use. I’m guessing that if I would learn PHP, I could do some sort of database thing that would be easiest and ensure uniformity of all the entries and would allow easy text-formatting. Oh well. This page will be changed soon…I’m thinking that I’ll get rid of all The Cabbage stuff on the top since it really isn’t part of the actual paper. I’ll also put my links page on here and redo all that and probably add some new links. I’m also thinking about including a few new features on here and spruce up the guest rant page since that really didn’t take off as well as I thought it might…I’ll probably turn that more into a discussion-format page. I’m also going to play around with the text formatting because I think it might be a little hard to read so much text squished into this page. I also don’t like the single blank space in between sentences, which happens in straight HTML. Congratulations to Nathan and Jenny Smith who recently were blessed with a baby boy…Evan, I believe. I went to Rhinelander this last week to visit Paul and Katie Mildebrandt and to get some fishing in. It was lovely. On the way home my car started not liking me. I had to drive 45 all the way home. Something with either the fuel pump or sparkplugs, methinks. I don’t know much about cars, but I know it has something to do either with the gas getting to the engine or what is being done with that gas once it gets there…when I hit the gas a bit too much, it sort of kicks back at me…so I found a happy range between 40-50, depending on the slope, where it didn’t kick back much. I shall take it into the doctor on Monday morning. Hopefully it’s not too expensive. Happy Father’s Day. I read in the paper before that what I’m doing is sometimes called “blogging” which is a combination of “log” and “web,” sort of a web diary or log, hence “blog.” I’m going to be my brother’s best man next summer at his wedding. My brother Scott gets married in about 3 weeks on July 4th…sort of ironic that a wedding is taking place on Independence Day. Whoha! Zing! I was checking the website stats the other day and we have gone over the 100,000 hits mark, if that means anything to you. Today I am going over to a friend’s house for a Sopranos, season one marathon. I’m not sure if we’ll make it all the way through: 13 episodes times about 50 minutes each=a long time…er…12 hours about…that would take us till about 5 in the morning if we start at 5 tonight…don’t think that’ll happen, but I’ll keep you informed. I think I have monkeypox. Wisconsin: the state of Jeffrey Dahmer, cheese, the Bodeans, and monkeypox. Oh, and we have a football team. This week I shall really get going on planning out my school year. It looks like I might have only 8 students…quite a drop from 90 or so last year. Darkness of night with the moon shining bright….Darkest of night...with the moon shining bright…there's a set going strong…Lot of things going on…the man of the hour…has an air of great power…the dudes have envied him for so long…Oh…Superfly! In 2008 it will be Hillary Clinton versus Condoleeza Rice…Rice will win. Cuba will be a big issue that year, since Castro will be dead by then. Has anyone seen Once Upon a Time in America yet? I’ve been waiting for years for it to come out, but now that it’s out, I have no money to buy it. All right then. back to top

5/24/03 No, I have not completely abandoned those of you who seek digressional solace here in an ever-increasing undigressional world. I could sit here and tell you how extremely busy I was over the last fortnight, but, looking back on it, I really don't know what I did...of course, I had to pack and play disc golf and air out my only dress shirt I didn't pack in between graduation and call service in the window (how's that for syntax?), but apart from that, I'd have to admit that my mind was only too all-over-the-place to do anything constructive on here. Isn't that a philosophical gem?--I was so digressional in my thoughts that I was too digressional to digress on the daily digressions page. I think this proves that, on any level, composition always requires a minimum amount of focus. I finally got the bugs out of the Copper Rock website for those of you who have viewed it on anything other than the latest Internet Explorer versions. I had to switch over all of the character encoding to some other thing that I don't quite understand, but it seems to be working, and, being somewhat of an anti-process over product extremist (educationally speaking), I have to say "if it works, who cares how you got there?" As I mentioned on the homepage, I received a call to Mt. Lebanon in Milwaukee. I have to admit that at first I was rather indifferent (as bad as that sounds); I think what threw me off was the grade level...I have never taught at the 5th and 6th grade level, only high school and 7th and 8th grades. Geographical speaking, I was very happy since I'll be in the "big" city and fairly close to my parents and really close to three of my brothers who live in the area, in fact, I might even live with Kevin somewhere in between our respective schools. Content-wise, I shouldn't have too much of a problem. The self-imposed challenge is to take any creativity and intelligence I might have and use it to shape interesting and fun (Heaven forbid!) lessons and also to challenge them...to keep that carrot in front of them, not so close that they gnaw on it and trample upon it so much that, by the time they reach high school, they have lost all sense of educational zeal and excitement. I recognize that that last sentence tried to sound profound, but failed miserably. But the thought remains. In light of the fact that 4/7ths of the Ehlke clan will soon be in the Milwaukee area, apparently my future sister-in-law Kathie (or is it Cathie? or Ckathie? or Kathy? or...) made some crack about the Great Commission saying that we are to go and preach to all nations. Then my mom said that southeast Wisconsin is good enough for her sons or something like that...anyway, I thought that was kind of funny. The roadmap to peace...Sharon finally agreed to it. Again, I don't know as much as I should about this entire topic, but it seems like you got Sharon, who seems like a pompous Boris Yeltsin to me, and this Abbas (sp?) guy who doesn't seem to have the real support of his people. Then you got the French sticking their noses in saying that we should consult Arafat, who, technically has no power. Why go to some guy who has done nothing but support violence? I'm not very optimistic (about anything) or knowledgeable about this roadmap...I hope it works, but I think it'll end in (insert journalistic vehicular pun here). You've got your "Quartet" and 3 of the 4 are historically anti-Isreal...doesn't seem very fair to me, but I think, since Israel has the upper hand geographically, militarily, economically, and organizationally speaking, I almost believe that the cards need to be stacked against them for any real progress to be made. If Palestine doesn't save face over the whole process, this violence will never end, no matter who is in charge on any side. I'm done for now. back to top

5/10/03 Eek, it's almost been a week since I ranted...although I really haven't truly ranted for quite some time now. I saw an interesting movie this evening--Identity. I would have to categorize it as a shallow thriller thinly veiled in psuedo-psychology. But what are you going to do? It was better than Armageddon. Today I had my last real final exam here at MLC; I have one group type project on Wednesday, but that's it. Today's exam was math...most of the problems seemed to add up okay, but there were 2 that I wasn't sure of. Grade school math can get pretty tough at times, I guess. The final issue of The Knight's Page came out today...inside you can find an op-ed piece written by yours truly. I won't air dirty MLC laundry in public by explaining the details, but it was something that had to be said in Christian love, but, unfortunately, it will probably upset a few people. Yet, thus far I have received more good comments about what I wrote than anything ever in The Cabbage, so it seems that a lot of people shared my thoughts on the subject, which is promising. All these tornadoes are just crazy. I really have to read up on the Middle East roadmap...I have been lazy in keeping up on that. In the past I have doubted the connection between Iraq and peace in the Middle East, but I'm starting to come around on that. I think that years from now all our current heavy involvement in foreign affairs may be viewed somewhat like the Reagan-era military spending: it sure cost a lot (money and other...), but we're still here. It's hard to know what's enough and what's too much when national security is at stake. As an independent libertarian who votes Republican, I tend to go along with a hands-off approach to just about anything that isn't necessary, but who am I to say that a stable Middle East isn't vital to national security? I just don't know. I spoke to another class over at Bethany on Tuesday...it was a lot of fun for me...a creative writing class. Not sure what that means...what is creative writing? I remember having a creative writing class in high school and in college, but I never really understood what that meant...there has to be a better word for it...I don't know. David Sylvian has a new album coming out soon...not sure when it's being released in the States. I should really redesign this whole site now that I know HTML. I still don't know how to do guestbooks yet, though. back to top

5/04/03 The Copper Rock website is almost done. I basically redid the entire thing using much cleaner code and it seems to be working well on three different browsers that I tried. The Cabbage came out in color this week...very nice colors and on glossy, high-quality paper...not that it matters to you if you read it online, where it's in color every week. The end of the year has snuck up on me, leaving me trying to decide a few things: one more issue or two? what articles do I "have" to use? will it continue after this year over in Appleton for awhile? is it completely a non-MLC thing now? Plus, I'm, of course, wondering where the Lord will send me to teach (if anywhere at all). My dog Buck had a seizure on Friday. He seems to be fine now, though. It came just 2 days after his 10th birthday...it's the first one that he's had--at least that we know about. Seizures, from my understanding, are not uncommon in dogs. I know that some do get medicine for them, but with Buck we've got to wait and see if a regular pattern happens (hopefully it'll just be the one) and then try to find out what's causing them. I'm done. back to top

4/30/03 Just got back from speaking at Bethany Lutheran College. I had the pleasure of speaking with a freshmen (mostly) composition class about writing humor/parody/satire and all the challenges/obstacles that go into it. They were a little dead (early morning...one student explained...) but they laughed at my lame jokes, so I liked them. I couldn't fit everything in that I wanted to, but I am going back there next week to talk to a creative writing class for an hour and a half; I think I'll be able to get more in then...I only had 50 minutes today. This is not an insult to that class, but it did remind me of the teaching I did last year in a high school...in fact, that's a compliment; it's nice to be able to just concentrate on the (deep) topic at hand, rather than the babysitting one ends up doing a lot in elementary teaching. I'm especially looking forward to next week's talk because apparently some of those students are seriously interested in starting up a Cabbagesque thing over at Bethany...I know, at least, that some of them have been doing a mock radio news type thing...and I did hear something about an underground paper called "The Toilet Paper"--a delicious pun! I thought that was great when I heard that...plus it seems to be (at least on the micro level that I've observed) somewhat condoned (supported maybe? I don't know) by the faculty there...at least it seems they're not jumping all over it. I think it's wonderful when teachers support non-curricular academic endeavors. Unfortunately sometimes the attitude is something like "those kids are writing on their own...let's get them!" Today is my dog's birthday; he is 10 years old. I remember when I first got Buck...it was the summer before my freshmen year in high school....they grow up so fast. I'll have to call him later. He is getting a little sensitive about his age, though, so maybe I shouldn't draw attention to it. You know how it is when you turn the big one-oh. Well, the "roadmap" for peace has finally been released to all sides involved. It's such a serious debate and I, for one, feel a little guilty about not knowing as much about it as I should, but it does get a little boring at times--as callous as that sounds. But I do think there's got to be something funny about parodying "roadmap" somehow...just a note to myself. I think that's about it for now...my apologies for not updating this for awhile...sort of busy with stuff. I think there might not be an issue next week so that our large, hard-working staff can write a 6-page Intro to Minority Cultures paper. We'll see. I think I'm going to the post office now...I guess the one here in New Ulm closes at 4 or 4:30...I've never heard of that before...I thought all stayed open till 5...I could be wrong, though...because if this bustling metropolis doesn't have a post office open till 5, then I doubt anyplace would.back to top

4/25/03 Another short digression... I've been extremely busy setting up Copper Rock's website. It's a lot of fun (I know I sound like a nerd) and it's pretty cool once you get all the code to work right. I think now I'm one of those snobby geeks who say "Frontpage? Oh, I write my own code; it's so much better." (said with a nasally voice) For the record, I am currently using Frontpage as we speak because that's all I used to know and I've bastardized much of this site with Frontpage code and it's hard to go back and forth...eventually I shall redo this site using straight code, not because I don't like the site Dan designed, but because I'm a loser and if I don't get a teaching call, I'll need something to do with my time. I suppose I could get a job... Anyway, if you're reading this, it probably means that you've checked out the Cabbage guestbook recently. I'm thinking about implementing a policy that if you don't leave a real name or at least a working email address, your comments will be promptly removed. In some cases anonymous comments are appropriate, but when the remarks hold no water, the source is needed to understand the cause of the comments and to clarify what seemingly doesn't make any sense. I don't know; perhaps my anonymous critic could expound so that I can clearly see my "elitist" ways. Maybe I dumped his sister once or something. Oh wait... I know, I know, I've fallen into a typical WELS assumption that anything written with some sort of assertion (baseless as it may be) must have come from a male source. So I should say maybe I dumped her brother once....wait a minute... Well, anyway, I'm grateful for what Ben Wink came out and wrote...I'd almost hate to take off the anonymous stuff because then there'd be no reference to what he said and what he said was well written and very encouraging for me. I won't waste any more energy countering my critic...I'll let Ben do that...he works at the Synod Office Building, so he has loads of time! (insert cheesy smiley face here) I will say that...no, nevermind...back to web-designing.back to top

4/22/03 This shan't be a fully digression; alas, I have too much to do. I am currently learning XHTML and CSS for a few reasons: I want to properly design Copper Rock's new website (I'm their new, cheap, free webmaster). I also think it's a useful tool for teachers, especially in this day and age. And, of course, XHTML and CSS drives the ladies wild! "Hey, baby, God sure made a fine style sheet for you! yeah!" When I have time, I'll make a complete list of CSS pick-up lines. Anyway, when I learn all that stuff, I'm going to try my hand at PHP, which is supposed to be the in-thing now-a-days. Again, I'm doing this to get chicks. My brother Kevin got engaged. I enjoyed reading Ben Wink's rant; I hope others leave rants as well. Don't be shy...I publicly make an ass of myself on here almost daily. Back to my wild HTML book.back to top

4/21/03 Easter break is over. Today I drive back to (New) Ulm. I shall try to digress fully later tonight.back to top

4/15/03 More interesting information that I can't share with you here. Today I played disc golf for the first time. The first round I was something like 16 over; the second round I was 3 under...maybe it was 2 under, now I'm not sure. I've gotten some nice compliments about today's issue...which is nice because I didn't think it was especially good. There will be no issue next week. I may be working on a special full-color issue for sometime down the road...this was in the works for awhile, but I did hear a certain comment today about how The Cabbage is not as good as a certain other publication here on campus because it's only black and white. Not only is this comparing apples and oranges, but it's also absurd considering that I get no money whatsoever for this. So maybe full color will win over a few dissenters. They could go online and read it...it's in color on there. Anyway, more info on all that stuff will most likely surface in the next few weeks. I need to pack tonight for Easter break. I have to decide what CDs to take along, grab some of my friend's DVDs, and make sure I have enough underwear. It was another lovely day here in (New) Ulm...a bit humid, but not bad...plus, some thunderstorms came. My syntax and punctuation are over the place all. I also played a little tennis. After an extended warm-up period, I was up 2-1, but then retired, so Paul won...for the record. Speaking of a Mattek, I want to give a little credit to Professor Mattek for giving me the idea for the "Redistribution of Wealth" article. Another interesting tid-bit about the issue this week...the circled "4"s in the Geology Pick-up Lines were originally some sort of fancy asterisk, but when writing to PDF they changed somehow. I think it's funny because I can imagine somebody either trying to figure out the meaning or claiming that they "get it." I would like to hear it if someone gets it, because I certainly don't. I will be heading home around 3ish tomorrow. I hope to do a little tennising, coffee shopping, movieing, reading, writing, and cleaning up my dog's poop because I didn't do it this last weekend when I was home and my mom probably hates me now. poop. I shall also look into buying some shoes. I really don't have much to say politically or about the war because...well, I just don't right now...I'm sure I will another day soon. I do think, though, that our other Axis of Evil friends are starting to come around...well, at least North Korea. Perhaps Bush will change Iraq to Syria, along with N. Korea and Iran. That is all. I hope you and your loved ones have a lovely, lovely Easter weekend.back to top

4/14/03 The new issue this week will come out tomorrow. Since I want to not worry about it too much over Easter break, there will be no issue next week (April 24th). I went home this last weekend to Appleton. Finally got to see the Copper Rock Coffee shop...great place...you must go if you haven't yet. Also got to see my friend Dave's (and his wife's) new house. Very lovely. Everything is changing on me. I have nothing more I want to say right now.back to top

4/10/03 Regardless of your stance on military force in Iraq, you have to admit it was a beautiful sight to see Iraqis cheering the fall of Saddam's murderous regime. It's reminiscent of the Berlin Wall and the liberation of Kuwait. Another powerful scene was on the local news here (Channel Four out of the Cities): a couple of Iraqi refugees (probably in their 20s) were parading in celebration and were confronting anti-war protestors. One protestor said to one Iraqi that he was happy that Iraq was gaining freedom, but that he was sorry that our government had to kill so many of his fellow civilians. The Iraqi responded with something like, "Freedom always comes at a price; read a history book." Yes, I did cut my nails. I've heard a few comments about the troll thing in one of this week's articles. I'm not going to explain what I was going for, but I am curious if anyone got it. Could be that I'm way off-base and it doesn't make any sense. Last night at supper a lovely young lady...we'll call her Kimberly L. No, K. Lacher...yes, that's better...she came up to me and told me that she had some problems with this week's issue of The Cabbage. I said, "Oh?" She said, "I happen to watch Friends and Dawson's Creek, and I had a younger sibling die of SIDS." For a second or two I felt terrible and was trying to think what to say to her, but then she said she was joking...at least about the SIDS. I thought that was both cruel and humorous. I've started toying around with a new guestbook, since Dan doesn't seem to think it's important, and because I was reminded by a fan that our current one really isn't getting the job done. I think it was basically a temporary one that Michael Wendt took the time to set up for us, but I liked the old one better. This guy in the guestbook has suggested before that a discussion format would be better, but I'm even more clueless as to how to make one of them things. There are some free guestbook services online, but then you have to link to them and they use pop-up ads to make money and everyone in the World Wide Web hates pop-up ads, unless they have a picture of a pretty girl on them. Remember, kids, you can look, but don't click on them. The weather is much nicer here today...66 F. right now. I'm done.back to top

408/03 My fingernails are getting girlishly long; I shall cut them. An interesting day for me. I can't really tell you about it here, but it was certainly interesting. I need to finish editing the new issue. This week's issue includes extensive war coverage, entertainment news, and a list of ways to get back the hour lost to Daylight Saving. And much more!!! back to top

4/07/03 Wow. I'm actually updating daily for once. Apart from a bit of editing and tweaking, the new issue is all set. I've been doing some thinking about the next issue and after consulting with my staff (ha! like anyone would work with me! I don't even like working with me), I've decided to put out a special Easter break issue and then not put one out the week I'm back here at school. I was thinking about not putting out an Easter break issue and then putting one out the week I come back, but I'd rather have a week off from it during break so I don't have to think about it when I'm home. I hope my customers are okay with that. Well, I'm really not in the mood to talk about the war much, even though tons is happening. tons are happening? I do wonder if the Iraqi regime will keep denying that coalition troops are there up until the point you see an Abrams tank pointed at the info minister right on television. You know you're dealing with a fascist-type regime when an Arab country kicks out Al-Jazeera. wow, kansas is within 3...I'm going to go watch that. over and out. back to top

4/06/03 Wow. I'm actually updating daily for once. The new issue is basically finished...that's pretty early for me. I'm starting to work on the next issue already. It's coming out on next Tuesday because we only have class through Wednesday next week (because of Easter break). Since I'm going home this coming weekend I figured I better get a few things written before then. I'm also going to try my hand at making a little links page on here. I think I'll try using Publisher to do that. Okay, I guess that's about it for now. back to top

4/05/03 My apologies for not digressing on here for awhile. Don't worry, though, my offline digressing has been about average. I have been feverishly writing articles for the new issue...should be a good one, if you don't mind me saying so. I lost in the first round of the table tennis tournament here at school. I'm no ping ponging expert, but I was pleasantly surprised to see such a high level of competition. If only our school had a pool table now. Some would say we have two, but I think they're referring to the large replicas of the rolling hills of the Midwest with some holes on the sides. I am munching on some Wheat Thins right now. They have a great taste with a big crunch! How 'bout that Marquette game? Ouch. I wonder if they covered the spread. Copper Rock Coffee is up and percolating. So if you're in the Fox Cities, remember to stop by and spend lots of money so that Seth and Bill can get out of debt, so Seth stops saying "Boy, Mark, I'm in debt." It was my brother's and my dad's birthdays this last week. My dog's birthday is on the 30th. He turns 10...they grow up so fast, don't they? I think the colors of the Final Four court are ugly. It is amazing to me that our country has yet to eliminate the IRS. Billions of dollars in paper, time, and consulting (not to mention increased alcohol sales) are wasted each year due to taxes. A flat tax would eliminate most of it. A national sales tax would be even better. So many people around the world hate America so much right now. Imagine if they had to fill out a 1040...we'd be done for. On Friday The Cabbage got mentioned in the campus nightly news (deliciously punned as the Knightly News, since we are the Knights here). A professor here placed an announcement in the form of an Onionesque (or Cabbagesque?) article. It wasn't terrible. In it he referred to a reporter named Sid Green from The Cabbage. I wonder if the 'Green' refers to the green of a cabbage. Perhaps the 'Sid' is an anagram for 'dis' as in that he disses the Cabbage. I am a dork. Anyway, you know you've made it big when you get mentioned on the campus intranet. In one class on Friday we had a guest speaker named Jay Lo. His butt really wasn't that big. Ah, yes, he was actually a Hmong person involved in out Lutheran ministry in the Twin Cities. Very insightful. I find it interesting that my spell check is not recognizing "Hmong." I especially found interesting what he had to say about feelings toward American involvement in southeast Asia. Very unfortunate some of that crap that happened. My life is actively uneventful. back to top

4/01/03 April Fool's Day. I'm surrounded by them. If anybody wants me to grab him/her a Knight's Page (the MLC literary magazine), there might be a few thousand extra here on campus. I know I should just keep my mouth shut, but the reason I haven't submitted anything to that publication is because one never knows how it's going to come out in the end, with ends of articles cut off and randomly placed graphics and what-not. Oh, well. My five dollars every year has to go for something. I had an interesting thought today. For some reason attractive females tend to be viewed often as unintelligent. Now I don't know if this is true or not; I don't talk to girls. I'm certain that there are many attractive and smart ladies out there, but going along with that perception, I have a few thoughts on the matter. Perhaps the reason hot women may not grow intellectually as voluptuously as they do physically is because of guys who end up talking like third graders when they're near them. "So, you like stuff?" and "So, you like Dawson's Creek?" comes out of our mouths instead of "So, what are your feelings on anti-American sentiment abroad?" or "You ever read any Dostoyevsky?" Therefore, since this is the extent of their intellectual challenge (at least from hormone-crazed men), they actually think they're quite bright because they can answer with ease, "Yeah, I totally like stuff." and "Like, yeah, (insert Dawson's Creek character) is so cool." Just an extended thought. Again, this is based on an assumption that some people make; I can't make that assumption since the only two women I know are my mom and my grandma. The end. I started running yesterday. We'll see how long that lasts. My roommate is a runner so I'm using him as motivation. Chicks dig runners. He is a runner and he's getting married, so this proves my theory. It is now a law: chicks dig runners. I played tennis today and then ran. This makes me a biathlete; I should thus get twice the chicks. This week's Cabbage is pretty much done. We're offering plenty of tax tips and war-related coverage. Tim Clark, third grader, comments on Connie Chung's departure from CNN. Plus much more! All this digressing has speeded my digesting...gotta go! he he he back to top

3/31/03 I have to fill out a self-evaluation form for the student-teaching I did last semester. On one level I can understand why they have us do that, but if you thing about it, a self-evaluation is only valuable insomuch as one values you. If you consider someone to be a complete moron, a self-evaluation only holds water for you if that person says "I'm a complete moron and should never be allowed to be left in a classroom with children." Then you say, "I agree with your assessment." Anything other than that, you say, "This guy is a complete moron and should never be allowed to be left in a classroom with children. He doesn't know what he's talking about." Anyway, we had a Scottish person sign the guestbook. Apparently our site shows up on Scottish search engines; it doesn't seem to show up very well on search engines I've tried. What's the deal with smokers outside clearing their cancer-ridden throats in obnoxiously loud fashion? I am sometimes awoken (awaken?) by this loud and disgusting noise even if my window is closed. I'm no nose and throat specialist, but I don't see the benefits of such a noise. I have noticed that there are some on this campus who do feel the need to make noise at any given time, whether it be load whistling, impromptu dormroom percussion, or unintelligible babbling. Maybe I'm just old and out of touch, but I don't understand their motives...is it arrogance? the desire for acceptance? attention? I don't know. I don't make noise unless it (hopefully) serves a valid purpose. Then again, perhaps if I could carry a tune, I would be one of those annoying singers in the bathroom while people like me are trying to take a dump in peace while somebody is belting out the latest hit by Greenday. I hope that made sense. Copper Rock Coffee is not going to open until Thursday, so if someone traveled down to College Avenue in Appleton for the sole purpose of going there, I apologize. I'm thinking about writing an article exploring the topic of classroom teachers divulging their political viewpoints. If you don't mind, I'm going to throw down a few disorganized thoughts about it right now. No, I'm going to do it anyway. On one hand, I feel that teachers ought not to express their political leanings because teachers--some may debate this point--heavily influence the viewpoints of their students and one doesn't want a bunch of little Republicans or Democrats or whatever it might be because that's what their teacher is (or isn't). On the other hand, I could make the argument that teachers ought to state their political leanings because then students are able to take what their teacher says and the information he/she gives them in the context of any bias that may be there, underlying that information. This goes without saying (although judging from one recent classroom discussion here on the topic, perhaps it doesn't), teachers are certainly obliged to present (present, not express...???) different, valid viewpoints of history and politics (the two are so dependant on each other, aren't they? at least in American history...). Not to toot my own educator-horn, but last year when I taught high school government and history, I felt I accomplished this objective. And I did so by not divulging my political viewpoints; although, perhaps I did so unknowingly. I recall polling several of my students and they for the most part placed me much further left on the political spectrum than I believe I am. So maybe in my quest to be unbiased, I overcompensated for the bias I was aware of? That wouldn't be good either. That's like a father cutting his own son from a baseball team because he was paranoid that he esteemed his own flesh and blood's skills more highly than reality, but in fact, his son should have made the team. Another explanation is that conservative Christian families tend to breed Republican-voters who vote that way based on a litmus test of pro-life viewpoints (which may be a case of the ends justifying the means...depending on how you look at it) and when they are even presented with a liberal viewpoint, they shun it and damn the messenger as one spewing forth leftist propaganda. I'm sure I'm over analyzing this (no, not Mark!) but this is certainly a topic worth exploring. I think I'll write it as a point-counterpoint format, not coming to a definite opinion, which would be honest, because I honestly am not convinced. I do think, though, that at the college level professors ought to give their political views and should be allowed to express them and propagandize to an extent since their students ought to be able to think critically. The problem with this is that U.S. campuses are overwhelmingly sympathetic to liberal causes. What irks me is not when I hear about liberal professors, it's when I hear about liberal professors and campuses that suppress other viewpoints, when, ironically, one worthwhile liberal cause is supposedly the right to free speech (conservative viewpoints are quickly straw-manned (and subsequently muzzled) as racist, hate-filled, war-mongering, and homophobic). I think I just used a parenthetical not within a parenthetical note. In math, I would have had to use brackets I think [is that right? (I really don't know)]. I should really open this thing up with some message board format or something. If you ever want to respond to any of my ramblings or care to express a viewpoint on something I brought up, feel free to email me with it and I'll happily post it on here (unless it's obscenity-laced tirades or something). One topic that has bugged me lately is why are the vast majority of entertainers so far to the left? One idea is that they lead such cushy lives that they lose touch with reality and begin to preach from their pompous, self-glorifying soapboxes, without any regard for practicality and how the real world works. I don't think so; I think most in Hollywood and in the music industry have worked hard (to an extent) for what they've accomplished. I think it's usually a genuine concern for mankind, but a lack of perspective on how to achieve it. Isn't that a nice way of saying what I just disagreed with? I don't know...now I'm talking in circles. I'm listening to Kate Bush...good, relaxing stuff. Haven't been able to get into her early stuff too much, though. Has anyone noticed that TV commercials for "The Pianist" are mispronouncing "pianist"? They say "pee-AHN-ist" instead of "PEE-inist" (forgive my poor pronunciation-type stuff there). Is this so that people don't think of "penis" when they hear the title? Perhaps I'm wrong, but I'm guessing that anyone who would consider going and seeing a holocaust-era movie about a introvert Jewish piano player escaping deportation won't giggle at the proper pronunciation of "pianist." Then again, anyone who would consider seeing a movie made by a fugitive convicted of raping a 12-year-old girl would. As Paul Mattek (he's available, ladies!) alluded to earlier in the evening, we live in a country where Pete Rose can't attend a Major League baseball game because of a little illegal gambling, but most of Hollywood wants to forgive Roman Polanski for drugging and having anal sex with a prepubescent girl. Interesting times we live in. Sorry, in which we live. My life is one big Elimidate. Thanks for playing. back to top

3/28/03 (addendum) I found my I.D. I am now a permanent member of this society. back to top

3/28/03 My life is one big Elimidate. back to top

3/27/03 Copper Rock Coffee should be opening on Monday, March 31st. Those of you in the Fox Cities area, stop on by and enjoy a cup of delicious coffee or try one of the refreshing specialty drinks. Those of you not in the Fox Cities area, drive to the Fox Cities area and then read the previous sentence. When Seth and Bill are millionaires I better get a free cappuccino for giving them free advertising. I mean, 577 losers have visited this sight; granted, 100 are probably from me and 200 are from my mom. I was sitting in the cafeteria today and there were some young ladies were sitting there discussing the latest issue of The Cabbage. My suspicions that nobody here knows who in the world I am are continually being confirmed. I'm guessing most people were disappointed when we were "compelled" to go public. "Who's that guy? I don't know him." "Oh, I was hoping it was..." Anyway, it's Thursday already. My roommate said before, "I can't believe it's Thursday already. Another wasted week." I said, "Come on, you got a lot done this week." He retorted, "I was talking about you." Ouch. I watched Platoon last night; apparently I haven't been getting enough wars lately. Early this week some commentators (including my roommate) started expressing concern over the media's coverage of the war, arguing that since the media tend to focus on the bad stuff happening to our troops rather than the unprecedented military success thus far, people are getting a warped view of how well the war is going. Initially I dismissed this, saying that there are enough media outlets out there that people can easily get a clear picture of how the war is going. Like with anything in the news that can be slanted by a political bias, people just need to be smart enough to see the facts...be able to use critical thinking skills. Well, apparently I overestimated those skills of many Americans. One poll I saw on Friday had 70-some percent of Americans saying that the war is going very well. On Monday, after reports of a few casualties and Iraqi resistance over the weekend, that number dropped down into the 30s. Unbelievable! It's a war! People are going to die. Perhaps a better poll would be to question how this war is going in light of past wars; in your opinion is this war going better than the (insert war here) for the American side? You get the idea. I don't have full cable here so I basically get all my war coverage from the left-leaning CNN and I'm able to tell that the war is going extremely well. I put on a mock news conference before for the entertainment of my roommate... Reporter #1: Were you hoping that you could get through this war without anyone dying? Sec. Rumsfeld: Well, of course, you idiot. You always hope nobody dies. Reporter #2: So are you saying that the war is not going as well as planned? Sec. Rumsfeld: No, you idiots. In war people die and sometimes things don't go exactly as planned, but that's not saying that, overall, things aren't going unprecedently well. back to top

What would the anti-war protesters say if Bush came out and said, "Okay, this war is all about oil"? It's so absurd! If the protestors would say, "I'm against this war because, even though I accept the fact that Saddam is a murdering dictator and has weapons of mass murder in his arsenal, I believe that the risks of war right now outweigh the risks of allowing him to stay in power right now." That's a valid argument; this partisan bullcrap over oil and bloodthirstiness is just ludicrous and invalidates any argument these people may have. Back to the media coverage topic: Some (O'Reilly) have said that the NY Times don't want Bush to come out too clean from this war because that will help him politically in 2004. That's a compelling argument and typically I would go along with it, but I don't know; I think that the media tend to cover the negative in just about anything, whether it be a war or Little League--you don't hear or read about the 1000s of well-run games, instead you hear about the one game where one overzealous (and probably drunk) father attacks some kid umpire. That's the way things are. The status quo is usually not reported; it's when things go haywire that you hear about it. So before I join in on that criticism of some in the press, I want to wait and see the coverage after Iraq is out of Saddam's hands. Although now I do feel that the media has a bigger influence in how people view how the war is going than I did before. I just am not convinced that it's because of any anti-Bush bias. Dan told me that the website archive is now up and running--that's the archive of exclusive internet stuff, not the issues...those have been working for some time now. Time to do some math. Grade school math. back to top

3/25/03 Michael Moore makes it so easy to shoot down his arguments that I find it shameless for commentators to poke fun at him for his weight. Okay, okay, no I don't, but that's only because I can't come up with a fat joke about him right now. But if I did, it would be shameless. I think. The new issue is all set to go, apart from any late-breaking news. I am unveiling the 3rd Annual Proffy Awards. The 2nd annual awards didn't happen last year, but rather than explaining all the math, I figured we'd just pretend that they did. We've got a number of new awards this year and I am certain I won't get expelled for any of them. (I hope.) What scares me about people like Michael Moore is not their viewpoints; in fact, he actually has some thought-provoking things to say every once in a while. What is scary is two things actually: 1. Hypocrisy. I don't remember hearing M.M. complaining when the previous administration bombed a laxative plant in Sudan among other things in other places, the timing of which "blew" in many people's opinions. 2. I hate to say it, but I think some Leftist nuts like M.M. actually want the U.S. to do poorly in the war. I hope I'm wrong, but sometimes extremist political ideologies can warp people so much that, in their minds, it becomes an idealistic platform over pragmatics, personal conviction over the common good. Communism or Nazism ring a proverbial bell? Whatever that all means. Oh well, I'm not going to go back and change it, since this is a rant page. I lost my I.D. card. I can't eat without it. Tomorrow I shall go to the cafeteria and see if anyone turned it in there. Since I'm a major celebrity on campus here, I would think some attractive single female would have brought it to me by now. Shameless plug: go to www.wels.net and read an article written by yours truly. It's the same one for those of you who already read it. I've got to think that "read" must be a difficult word for people learning English; it can be "red" or "reed." That's why we should all go back to using Latin. quid pro quo. in absentia. et tu, Brute? rigor mortis. ad nauseam. pax vobiscum. back to top

3/23/03 (addendum) Daniel Day-Lewis did not win best actor. From this point on the Oscars are completely meaningless. These are the same people who named Gladiator best film. Now I don't want Marty to win; I will look down on him if he wins such a piece of crap award. back to top

3/23/03 Not much to report today. I have written a couple of articles for the new issue...it will certainly be better than last week's. Did a little math earlier, this week's will be the 46th issue. When you think about it, it's all pretty arbitrary; our issues could be twice as big and come out biweekly and then it would be our 23rd issue. Or they could be 92 pages an issue and then this would be our first. Ethan had his harem stop by to help him finish stuffing envelopes for his big wedding extravaganza coming up this June...I thought that was rather kind of them. I should get my own harem, in the strictly non-sexual sense of a harem, of course. The other day I was eating a saf-t-pop and when I got to the end, the two ends came apart and one almost poked me in the eye. I did my taxes yesterday...sure makes the national sales tax idea much more appealing...imagine all those Americans who can't add...or read. I wonder if the troops over there get some sort of automatic extension for filing. When you're going through hell, keep going. back to top

3/21/03 Spring is here, although it's a bit chilly in (New) Ulm today. The war seems to be going as well as one might hope--few casualties and many Iraqi soldiers are giving up. War is hell. When you're going through hell, keep going. I want to apologize for the low quality of the last issue; next week's will be better. I got my remote control...thanks, mom and dad. Even if there weren't any TVs or radios here on campus, you would still know from all the talk and concern around campus about the big basketball tournament. If anyone cares, there is a little article written by yours truly posted at www.wels.net under "America at War." I completely support the war protestors' right to protest, but I wonder if they think of the chance that because of their taking away hundreds of police officers from regular duty, that plots against our citizens could be more easily advanced. I shall go and get some filets-o-fish, being the good Catholic that I am. back to top

3/19/03 New issue is out...could be the worst ever. What does it matter now? back to top

3/18/03 My body has been doing strange things lately. All better now, I hope. Just wrapped up the new issue. For the first time ever I resorted to using a Billy Miller article that was already printed in one of the very first issues. I hope nobody demands his money back. I could have milked the personals section for more space, but I really got bored with it and per my policy of not doing boring stuff I decided to do the unthinkable and recycle humor. Oh well. It's starting to look now that fighting may not start for another week or so. I have been saying that it would start this Friday, but I read a report today of an administration official who stressed that military action would be on Bush's timetable and that when comparable language was used when he authorized action in Afghanistan, it took about two weeks. I'm not sure if this was said just to throw off the timing for the enemy or it actually has some meaning. Of course the media tend to report the sooner than the later so that news nerds like me continuously watch CNN. I prefer the other two, but I don't get them here at school. That Tony Blair sure can speak. I may start wearing suspenders like Larry King. back to top

3/16/03 It is amazing how much time I waste with the Cabbage. I should really spend more time going out with chicks. A curtain of thick fog has enveloped the city of (New) Ulm; I can barely see the parking lot from my first floor window. I'm no meteorologist, but I'm guessing it has to do with all the melting snow vaporizing and meeting the cooler air of the night, which is well below the dew point. That cloud looks like an idiot...oh wait, that's just my roommate walking back from his car. This week we're trying something new with the paper: we're printing a personals section for MLC students. The world news articles are hard to write because I'm not sure what's exactly appropriate given the uncertainty of the times. I have a few things lined up that will be okay I think. I do think it's not as big as a decision after 9-11 because we're prepared for war; we know it's most likely going to happen. With 9-11 it was such a huge shock that nobody knew if humor was appropriate at the time...and for how long? So right now I'm planning on not avoiding the Iraq situation. In a way, I feel it's better to write about it because it at least draws attention to it for a campus that unfortunately tends to be uninvolved with the affairs outside itself. This is a generality of course. The media are making it sound like Monday or Tuesday will be the start of bombing, but I'm thinking it won't be until late in the week, perhaps not until the weekend. I am sure that we are about prepared militarily speaking, but the German embassy for whatever reason still is open and I think it would look bad for Bush II to kill some Krauts...Chinese were okay. You've got to wonder about the whole Turkey situation, too...last I checked it seems we have a bunch of troops and equipment sort of in limbo. Turkey's got to be kicking themselves. I mean, they gave up $15 billion! And their economy is far worse than ours. Now the Frogs come out and say they'll compromise and agree to a 30-day time period of delay. The problem with that is the rest of the resolution would be the same language as 1441 and then they'll argue at the end of the 30 days that Iraq is complying and that we need to give them more time. Without giving away my viewpoint on whether or not war is appropriate in this case, I do think that it will happen and that the longer we wait, the more lives will be lost. I think that more lives will be lost when the fighting starts that would have been lost had the fighting started weeks or even months ago. The temperatures are rising in Iraq; this will lead to general heat-related complications such as quicker fatigue, mechanical problems, and dehydration. It also may pose a huge problem if the use of biochemical equipment and suits are needed, since they are so heavy and provide little ventilation. I saw Blair today comment on the Middle East situation with Israel and Palestine and, although I believed it be of genuine concern, it just seemed like a pathetic attempt to convince people that somehow peace will tumble down like dominoes from a liberated Iraq throughout the region. I don't think that will happen; I don't think it will hurt, but I'm not convinced it will help. I think I wrote on this once (below somewhere) when Bush made the same claims awhile back. I downloaded my TV instruction manual off the internet and got the codes so I could program my remote so I can operate the DVD player now since I left it at home. I talked to my mom and she said she was sending it on Monday or my Dad, I don't remember which. But I would still like the DVD remote so I can change subtitles and audio settings, which I can't do right now. Brett's going home this coming weekend. Okay, I'm going to go start reading The Hunt for the Red October...I've never read any Clancy before if you can believe that. Just remember: A man has to know his limitations, but he also has to know the limitations of those around him. back to top

3/15/03 Beware the ides of March! back to top

3/14/03 Friday, or as we say in (New) Ulm, "Freitag!" I have been listening to The Police in recognition of their abduction into the Rock and/or Roll Hall of Fame. Only the poetic genius that is Sting could come up with the line: "We have to shout above the din of our Rice Crispies/We can't hear anything at all" and "And every single meeting with his so called superior/Is a humiliating kick in the crotch." Actually, I do like a lot of their earlier stuff. I'm unfamiliar with most of the album titles because I have that "Message in a Box" boxed set with all their recordings on 4 discs. Early on they were like a punk band with good musicians. Andy Summers has a few decent jazz albums out, too. Is it Summers or Sumners? I don't remember. It's pretty warm out today. My roommate spotted somebody wearing an anachronistically hilarious "I write The Cabbage" t-shirt. Anachronistically hilarious, because at the time they were printed, we were anonymous. I got half a point off my math quiz because I was lazy and copied a list of formulae off the internet and a formula was wrong. What kind of world is it when one can't trust what he finds on its wide web? But it's my destiny to be the king of pain. I had 6 classes this week. In the past I've had semesters when I've had 6 classes in one day. If I could swing it, I'd have those 6 classes in one day and then have 6 days off. I wish premeditated skips would coincide with days the professor skips. My roommate almost hit me in the head with an ice skate...two fell from the shelf he was monkeying with...I waited for a third, because I thought that would be funny, but only two fell. I almost had a splitting headache--ha ha ha! I'll be wrapped around your finger. I have been living for almost a week without my DVD player remote control; I can only watch certain movies because there is no way to navigate through menus without a remote. And you'll be wrapped around my finger. Mom, if you read this, please send me my remote. To test the intelligence of this place, I once walked around with two dead batteries and asked people, "I'll trade you these for two of your batteries." Nobody went for it. And it's murder by numbers, one two three, it's as easy to learn as your ABCs. I went to Martin Sponholz's "aulic" the other night...great stuff. He went to Antarctica and was smart and stuff...very funny guy. Tonight I shall check out the Boo Brodie show here on campus and then go over and play at my friend's house. back to top

3/12/03 The new issue is online. For some reason it ain't working right, but I think you can get it if you wait for it awhile. I'm giving chapel here at MLC tomorrow night. I have a jacket here to wear, but the shirt that goes with it is at home, so I'm not wearing a jacket. I hope nobody is distracted by that. I also nobody minds that I wrote "farts" in the new issue. I had one class today. It's nice having so few classes because that gives me the opportunity to focus hard and do exceptionally well. back to top

3/11/03 It's Tuesday. The new issue (VI.7) is basically done; I only need to proofread again and tweak the layout a bit. It was a bit warmer here today...near 40, I think. My body thinks there's something in the water here. This week's issue features a prototype of our logo that I came across looking through our old files. I'm not planning on changing to it, but I thought it would be fun to try it. Let me know what you think. The issue also features both the Mr. Trite Conversation Starter of the Week (clever ideas to break the ice and make that great first impression) AND the Mr. Current Events Joke of the Week (clever and timely one-liners to show that special someone you're both humorous and up-to-date with world news). We also have rejected cafeteria slogans and a list of what people are giving up for Lent, along with the normal award-winning news reporting. back to top

3/10/03 Back in (New) Ulm. A big thank-you to Mrs. Shilling in MLC Network Services for getting me back online. back to top

3/08/03 One more night here, then it's back to (New) Ulm. Not much going on here...I just wish this snow storm would have hit tomorrow morning so I could stay here another day. I have to pack stuff up and get ready to leave tomorrow. It's amazing how fast two weeks can go. For those of you who care, the new issue of The Cabbage will be out on Wednesday (Thursday, officially). I was hoping to write a bunch of stuff over break, but oh well...mediocrity has never stopped issues in the past. back to top

3/05/03 This vacation is going way too fast. I'm sure you've all noticed how one of the news networks is now referring to "suicide bombers" as "homicide bombers." I understand that the purpose is to avoid glorifying the murderer by focusing on the loss of others' lives, not his/her own. But I think there is a slight semantic problem with the term; a "homicide bomber" could be someone who may or may not take his own life in the process of the bombing. I enjoy watching that network but a little thing like that could cause one to question their journalistic integrity. Now I'm not talking about news commentators; I'm talking about anchors and reporters whose job is to present the news in a non-political, non-biased manner no matter how morally obvious a judgment like that is. Even the 9-11 ordeal--I didn't need Linda Vester trying to communicate to me with her overly dramatic pregnant (excuse the pun) pauses for breaths and big bug eyes just how tragic and sad the attacks were; I and any other American (save for a few on the Left who quickly condoned the attack on our racist, sexist, murdering nation--compared to what other nation, I'm not sure) were able to figure out by ourselves how terrible it was. I didn't need an anchor to tell me. The other morning my mom woke me up at 7:30 and told me that she was going to work and Buck was outside. Buck is my Siberian Husky. Like I normally would do in that situation, I mumbled a few unintelligible words and fell back asleep, assuming Buck would knock on the back door or let out a small bark to wake me. I woke up around 11:30, four hours later. I thought it was weird that Buck didn't wake me up, so I went to the back door to see if he was still out there or if Brett or someone let him in. I saw his chain but he wasn't connected to it. I ran around the house calling him; he wasn't in the house. You see, Buck doesn't get the whole concept of boundaries and roads and cars that can run over dogs, so I was a bit concerned. I ran back downstairs and started putting some pants on when I looked at the back door and there was Buck waiting with a four foot segment of cable-style chain attached to his collar. Not wanting him to dart away playfully (he does that sometime), I slowly went to the backdoor and opened it and calmly invited him in. He trotted in all happy and went to his water dish and had a nice long drink. I examined him and didn't find any injuries. Who knows how long he was gone? I was pretty happy he was back safe and not dead. He slept all day, so I'm guessing he had quite an adventure. He came back so that helped my self esteem a bit. He's almost 10. That really puts things into perspective. My dad works with a guy who's on a local used car dealership commercial; we all have our claim to fame. Hey, Kevin, if you read this, give me a call...I was thinking you could come up here and we could do something with Seth and others. I'm sure you've all had many a conversation debating which woman in the Bible was the best-looking. I just had that conversation again tonight. Now most guys would quickly go with Bathsheba, but I've got to go with Esther. King Xerxes had his pick from all those women and he chose her. Other choices by people not me include Mary Magdalene, Ruth (I don't think she was all that), and that one prostitute in the Old Testament. Please don't hate me. back to top

3/02/03 February is such a rip off: only 28 days. It got really cold out today. I went walking with Buck last night around 10 or 11 and it was pretty nice; today I went during the daylight and it was freezing out. Not much to update...I really got to start writing some more stuff this week. I went and saw Gangs of New York for the fourth time. Now I think I might sit down and watch some X-Files, season six. bye back to top

2/28/03 So we go to this establishment in Darboy last night. It was called the Silver Spur Saloon or something like that. Anyway, apparently some waitress at one of the newer eateries in Appleton wanted one of my fellow patrons to meet her there. We park and get out, realizing that ours was the only vehicle that was not a truck and that had no '3' sticker on it. We did not go in. I'm not sure if those number 3 stickers are some sort of sporting thing or if it's some sort of new Trinity fanclub. The rest of the evening was fun, but as far as the conversation with other people in the varied establishments, I'll just say I have to find some ugly friends to hang out with. Take that however you will; I'm not even sure how to take it. It's a nice day today---put near 50, I think. I'm going down to my brother's today--the one with the big head. I'm going to see a friend whom I haven't seen in quite some time, although he occasionally finds time in his busy life of the ministry to communicate with me electronically. Mr. Rogers died yesterday--that really puts it into perspective, doesn't it? I watched him a lot when he was alive; I remember getting upset with my mom because she would watch soap operas instead of Mr. Rogers. I would always say, "Mom, those shows glorify promiscuous sex and greatly misrepresent traditional American values." I did like that pirate guy with the patch, though. I just ate my last marshmallow. My dog needs me. back to top

2/26/03 I wonder if I should change the name from "Daily Digressions" (which it really is; Dan got the name wrong above) to something else, because I've already missed a few days' entries. Few things upset me more than waiting behind a car that is having a standoff with another car at a four-way-stop. I mean, how hard is it? The car that stops at the intersection first goes first. If it's a tie, the car on the right gets to go. Worse than that situation is when I clearly get there after another car and that person waits for me. With my luck, I'll go and then he'll hit me and it'll be my fault because he had the right of way. Idiots. I for one am starting to roll through four-way-stops just to avoid the whole thing. I think we should have four-way-yields. The other driving atrocity is when people who are turning left at a controlled intersection are about three feet from the curb. Not only does this make it so that car has to turn its wheels in so if it gets hit from behind it goes right into oncoming traffic, it makes it impossible for me turning left in front of him to see oncoming traffic. Hug the stupid curb so both drivers can see! Today I saw a guy actually maneuver his vehicle away from the curb as he approached the intersection. Idiot. I personally think that if they would paint turning lanes narrower the problem would be cut in half. I think half the idiots, like the guy I just mentioned, think that you need to turn a little to the right before you turn left and a little to the left if you're turning right, as if the curb is going to jump out and try to grab you or something...I don't know. The other half sees the painted line and the curb and thinks he has to stay right in the middle. The other half are just random idiots committing random acts of stupidity. I'm not sure about my subject/verb agreement in this entry. I think it's sad that more people tuned in for that American Idle crap than did for the president's speech. I was surprised that Bush seemed to claim that by removing Saddam (what is 'Saddam' backwards with an extra 's' in there?) it would somehow lead to peace between Israel and Palestine. I guess I don't see that happening...perhaps some of the terrorists' funding would be cut off from Iraq. Maybe Bush wants to divvy up the oilfields with Israel and Palestine and then they'll both be happy. That last sentence was tongue-in-cheek; I don't believe this "war" is about oil, I want to make that clear. If I ever start a rock and roll band, I'm going to name it "Hans Blix." I'm going to start a reality show that takes place in Tibet. It will involve a conservatively-clad woman, who seemingly has renounced all wealth and is living a simple life of poverty and that is free of temptation. She will meditate with a bunch of Tibetan monks and then choose one to be her husband. She will then admit that she is actually a millionaire swimsuit supermodel who gets around town, and see if the monk still wants her. The show's called "Jane Karma" or something. Okay, I'm sorry, that wasn't funny. Plus, I don't think Monks date much anyway. Do you think Buddhist monks (assuming they don't marry; I'm not sure if that's the case or not) have the same problems with homosexuality as Catholic priests? When I was a child (okay, last year) I always got confused as to who the Dalai Lama was. I always pictured some dressed up llama. That joke works better on paper; I suggest you don't use it in conversation, because 'Lama' and 'llama' are homophones (at least in English...at least the way I pronounce them). When I was I child I always got confused as to what a homophone was. I always pictured...oh, never mind. back to top

2/24/03 If John Ring is reading this, I'll get that article to you tomorrow (hopefully). I helped out a little bit at the Copper Rock Coffee Company that should be open in about five weeks.* The shop is really starting to come around; I'm disappointed that I'll be heading back to school just a couple of weeks before it opens. For those of you who don't know about it, it's a new coffee shop that's opening up on College Ave. in Appleton, WI. I've never actually had their coffee or sandwiches yet, but I can assure you (as a small anonymous MLC celebrity), that Copper Rock Coffee is the best coffee shop/deli in the city. Back to that original thought...I am writing a serious type religious article for an MLC WELSian publication (not The Knight's Page); I was hoping to be done by now, but I'm not. By the way, I happened to mention to my parents that the December issue of The Knight's Page (MLC's student newspaper/magazine/free for all) just came out two weeks ago, and my dad says, "Why did they release it so early?" Leave it to my dad to come up with that joke. I scraped lead paint off ceiling tiles today. My plan is to chip in a little free labor now while Seth and Bill are broke and then wait 10 years until they're millionaires, then I'll sue their assets off. I mentioned the other day that I'll have to find a better picture for above, but then I noticed Dan made me wink at you on the link on the homepage. I'm guessing he spent hours working on that little effect, so maybe we'll keep the picture. I like coffee ice cream. I think I'm going to add a movie and music section so I can let you know what's good. Tony Levin and Peter Gabriel did not win a Grammy--more proof that the Grammys are really not awards at all. If D. D.-Lewis doesn't win an Oscar this year, then those are almost at the Grammy level...especially after Gladiator won Best Picture. I should go hit the bars. back to top

      *five weeks = the three weeks Seth says it will take + the two weeks I always add on (since November) back to top

2/23/03 Wow! The new site looks pretty good now. I have my own page here. I should really look into changing that picture; that's my freshmen picture from MLC, which was taken in 1997. I am now much more virile-looking. The guestbook looks a little different than the last one, but it works well. Perhaps I should put in my own guestbook? I guess that's all I have today.

2/22/03 Who needs terrorists? We're killing ourselves just fine. I wake up the other morning to huge balls of fire on Staten Island on the CNN and then the night club disaster in Rhode Island. I'm sure the terrorists are just sitting back enjoying themselves. Hair bands. Anyway, we're still working on revamping the site a little bit. I had a pleasant drive home. Three people's laundry, a computer, monitor, DVD player, and two cases of beer sure increases the old car's stopping distance. I should do some laundry. back to top

2/20/03 I will be shutting this down later tonight so I can pack up my computer; I'm taking it home for midterm break, which is two weeks long. The site will look much better soon as Dan tries to fix some of the stuff I messed up. He will soon be setting up a Random Thoughts section for me separate from The Cabbage. I think it will be called "Mark D.'s Daily Digressions" or something like that. I had an interesting phone call last night--it was someone complaining that the Presidents' Day pickup lines in VI.6 weren't working for her. I explained to her that it's probably because P. Day was on Monday, so I apologize to anyone else who ran into the same problem. I was going to go down the hill and responsibly enjoy some Schell's Bock in moderation, but, alas, no one is around! I just read that King Crimson is touring the states, but the closest show is Milwaukee (and I'll be in New Ulm at that time)...plus the show is on a Sunday. There are 2 shows in Chicago on that Friday and Saturday, but I don't know if driving that far to see KC sans Levin and Bruford is worth it. I mean, they're still great, but I don't know. If anyone cares, you can find the tour dates at www.king-crimson.com. I also read that it looks like Kate Bush may be releasing a new album sometime soon...can you believe it's been a decade since her last? I'm old. Check back often; I'll keep updating over break. back to top

2/19/03 So I'm watching the CNN the other day and I see an anti-war protest going on in Seattle. Where in Seattle? That's right, on a bridge during rush-hour traffic--shutting down the whole side of the bridge. Now no matter what your political views are on the use of military force in Iraq (notice, I didn't say "war in Iraq" because there ain't no war yet, last time I checked), you have to admit this is a pretty dumb way to go about promoting your cause. If they tried that crap in NYC, they would actually cause a war. The new issue will be on here later today. back to top

2/18/03 The new issue is finished except for some proofreading and last minute breaking news to be added. Someone on the guestbook (on the old site) asked if it's possible to access old Random Thoughts. No, because I just started this a few days ago. But I am glad someone cares about my ramblings. I was sitting in a class today (one of two--these two a days are killing me!) and with five minutes left, people began packing up their stuff and buttoning their coats. Now I like the people who sit around me in class; they are intelligent and good people, who will make great teachers... But today we had a guest speaker. I don't like it when it's (just) the professor who is being disrespected like that, but to have someone come from miles away to have people pack up with five minutes left is especially not good. There's just no need for it; we have plenty of time in between classes and it only takes a few seconds to put your book in a book bag and button up your jacket. I know this sounds like a petty thing, (and it probably is) but I feel strongly about it. On a positive note, at my first class today, the professor was absent, but the class all stayed and went ahead with group presentations with good cooperation from everyone (well, except me). Either they're a respectful, intrinsically-motivated bunch or we didn't have the balls to leave, fearing it was the old hidden camera trick. (or an nose-kisser like me would rat everyone out) We grageeating seniors at MLC have our 100 days party tonight. Hope to see you there. bye btw, still working on getting rid of that green hole in the middle of the site. If anyone is interested in The Cabbage mouse pads, let us know at info@thecabbage.com. We don't have any made, but it's something we could do...they would probably be around $10 a piece. back to top

2/22/03 Who needs terrorists? We're killing ourselves just fine. I wake up the other morning to huge balls of fire on Staten Island on the CNN and then the night club disaster in Rhode Island. I'm sure the terrorists are just sitting back enjoying yourselves. Hair bands. Anyway, we're still working on revamping the site a little bit. I had a pleasant drive home. Three people's laundry, a computer, monitor, DVD player, and two cases of beer sure increases the old car's stopping distance. I should do some laundry. back to top

2/17/03 I was sitting in the cafeteria this evening and I saw what I thought was a Godfather t-shirt (as in the Puzo novel and Coppola movie), but it turned out to be the latest Cos shirt. Yes, The Cosfather. On one hand I could compliment the Cos organizers good taste. But then my other hand slaps me in the face and yells "What are you thinking?" I just think it's interesting that 90% of people wearing the shirts probably haven't seen the movie. There's nothing completely wrong with that, but I feel that if you're going to spoof something, you should at least know what you're spoofing. Man, have I been a little bitter lately! I should be more positive. I've received some comments about sounding bitter towards MLC and readers here, but I'm not. I'm honestly surprised that The Cabbage got as big as it has here, but I think we've reached our limit and would like to try to reach more readers by covering non-MLC inside joke stuff. Don't worry, though, there's still some stuff here to have fun with before the end of the year. I'm thinking about starting an a cappella hand bell choir. Anyone interested? back to top

2/14/03 It's Valentine's Day. Yippy. Look for new stuff on the website; it's snowing and I can't go to Mankato now. I added a Survivor II update. back to top

2/13/03 I'm going to organize an anti-Iraq rally this weekend. We're going to go downtown and burn Iraqi flags and beat Saddam in effigy. I shall place a fake mustache onto a board and punch and kick it. This just in...Dustin Hoffman is against military action in Iraq. Well, if Rainman is against it, so am I! I'm thinking about ending the printed issue if we have to scrap the book thing. I think the popularity on campus has gone down; perhaps I'm not that funny anymore. I think my sex appeal has worn off. I shall end this nonsense and go watch TV or read. Oh, a big "hey" to any student teachers reading this; I hope your first 2 weeks are going well. We'd like to hear from you! Email us at either fanmail@thecabbage.com or hatemail@thecabbage.com. We're currently setting up an email account for any would-be stalkers as well. So, if you happen to be a would-be stalker of either Dan or myself, you'll have to use one of the existing accounts. bye back to top